Real Women Wear Dresses
by Nienna Nir
Summary: It was supposed to be a simple night out in New York, a chance for the ladies of Avengers Tower to kick back with some drinks, get together, have a few laughs... So how did it all go so badly so quickly? Part of the Series: Coulson Lives, but the Avengers might be the death of him.
1. If you flunk the Bechdel Test

**If you flunk the Bechdel Test do you have to take a remedial?**

"I thought this was girls night out," Darcy stated, playing with the umbrella in her piña colada as she hunched against the bar table, swinging her feet slightly over the floor. "I mean that's the distinct impression I got when you invited me."

"Well it's technically not 'Girls Night Out'," Natasha corrected, toying with her vodka martini. She tossed her scarlet hair over her shoulders, her eyes unconsciously scanning the bar with the movement. It was the sort of ever so slightly kitschy, partially weird, place that only locals would think to enter and no one who could be remotely considered a power player. The floor looked clean despite being faintly sticky. The upholstery was dated and faded but not worn, the staff carried themselves with the air that could only be described as New York native; sharp and quick and lacking in indulgence. They were practically invisible in a place like this.

"You see," Pepper lounged back in her chair, crossing her long elegant legs. "Girl's Night Out is when we escape from our boyfriends and then get drunk and complain about them. This, technically, is Bechdel Night Out."

"How does that work exactly?" Jane asked, sipping her margarita. Betty only shrugged in bewilderment.

"It's simple really," Natasha smiled. "We get drunk and we talk about anything but men."

"When you stop and think about it, that's probably more reasonable," Betty conceded, her brain clearly whirling in a mass of mental health related permutations.

"When you've worked at STARK industries as long as I have, it's an absolute necessity," Pepper insisted.

"So we're allowed to discuss work, embarrassing things we did in college, and good books." Jane's cheeks colored in a healthy blush.

"Just not anyone we're involved with," Natasha nodded, she paused for a moment with a frown. "I'm thinking we should include male parents on the ban list."

"Looks like someone's read my file," Betty gave her a dry look.

"I get it," Darcy grinned, taking a long sip. "at least I think I get it... mostly, but I just have to ask, what's he doing here?" She jerked her head in the direction of the unmistakable black suit.

"I'm your sassy gay friend," Phil Coulson stated with his most deadpan expression, washing it down with scotch. Darcy blinked at him blankly.

"There are so many things wrong with that statement, I don't even know where to begin," Jane admitted as Natasha struggled not to laugh.

"Phil kind of needs girls night out more than the rest of us," Pepper giggled. "So we adopted him. Now that you're all working in Stark Tower, we'll just have to adopt you too."

"How is this my life?" Darcy asked in wonderment as Jane giggled. Pepper's phone vibrated against the table and she glared at it.

"Tony, you're being _that_ boyfriend," she declared firmly as she pressed the phone to her ear with a dark frown. "don't be _that_ boyfriend."

"I'm a category now?" Tony demanded, his tone drenched in sarcasm as thick as honey and twice as sticky.

"I'm out with the girls," Pepper reminded.

"Barton says that Coulson's with you," Tony countered.

"I'm not having this conversation with you," Pepper shook her head.

"Well what..."

"I mean it Tony," She insisted. "Bother, Steve, bother Bruce, put on the suit and have a smack down on the roof with Thor for all I care but give me one evening to myself."

"I'm bored," he pouted.

"Goodnight, I'll see you later," the phone clicked off and Tony sulked at it.

"She just threw you both under the bus," he said finally, tossing his phone on his work bench with a sigh. "I want you to know that."

"I told you not to call," Bruce stated, never looking up from the microscope. Tony turned to glare at Steve who was sprawled out on the sofa in the corner with his charcoals.

"Under the bus," Steve rolled the words around with a questioning look.

"She told him to aggravate the two of us instead of calling her," Bruce supplied. Steve winced noticeably and Tony's eyes narrowed.

"Aren't you the least bit curious what Betty's doing?" Tony demanded, deciding to let it go.

"Captivated by the very thought," Bruce insisted, never looking up.

"Tony, I'll admit I don't know much about... women but even I know they don't like to be controlled," Steve offered.

"You were going to say 'dames' weren't you?" Tony demanded, an evil smile curling his lips. Steve's ears turned pink and Tony huffed in self satisfaction. "You forfeit on the grounds of being too old, Captain Relic."

"You could try simply texting her to say you're thinking about her and you hope she's enjoying herself," Bruce suggested. He was met with silence and he finally looked up, pinning Tony with an unshakably calm expression.

"I tried that once," Tony finally admitted.

"And," Bruce prompted.

"She ran out of a board meeting and called demanding to know if I was dying," Tony admitted awkwardly. Bruce bit his lip and on the couch in the corner Steve broke down in a fit of coughing that sounded suspiciously like muffled laughter.

"Charcoal dust," he insisted, brushing at his drawing pad as Tony turned a withering look on him. Bruce only sighed, returning his attention to the microscope.

"I think your nanobots are suffering some form of personality disorder," he admitted finally.

"If that was a dig, you and I are though," Tony snapped irritably. Steve let out a proper laugh, rolling to his feet and stretching before crossing the lab to grasp Tony by the shoulders.

"Come on," he stated, shoving Stark gently toward the door. "You can help me make spaghetti and we'll all watch a movie."

"I'll be up as soon as I finish this test," Bruce replied.

"Tell Thor and Barton, would you?" Steve asked, Bruce only nodded, waiting until the door closed to pull out his phone.

_Is Tony always an insecure ass?_

_Yes, yes he is._  
_Did Pepper really throw me under_  
_the bus?_

_I'm afraid my loyalty to Girl's Night_  
_prevents me from divulging._

_It's a prestigious institution with a long_  
_and glorious tradition._

_Did you just quote the Princess_  
_Bride?_

_I'm not at liberty to say._

_I love you, you idiot._

_I love you too_

Betty looked up from her phone with a wide smile, her gaze shifting to Darcy who was teetering in her seat.

"So I turn and just as I'm looking at the door there's this huge explosion!" Darcy cast her hands wide as if she were a mushroom cloud and Jane let out a groan, burying her face in her hands.

"It was not an explosion!" She protested.

"Who's telling this story?" Darcy demanded before turning back to her giggling audience. "And the guy grabs my arm and kind of half shoves me out of the way. So I popped my taser out of my bag and I zapped him."

"You tased a librarian?" Pepper asked wide-eyed.

"He had it coming," Darcy insisted. "So I sort of climbed over him before security could catch me and I barreled though the door and what do I find?"

"You are not telling any more embarrassing college stories that involve me." Jane objected with a scowl.

"I wouldn't have any embarrassing college stories if it weren't for you," Darcy replied, wide eyed.

"Do you feel that?" Phil interrupted, his brow furrowing in concern.

"That vibration?" Natasha asked. Phil nodded.

"It's Darcy, bouncing up and down in her chair," Betty stated, trying to hold in a giggle. Natasha smiled, her hand slipping inside her leather coat and secreting out her phone.

_How's things in the Magic Kingdom?_

_I'm down in the gym with Ariel, he's_  
_trying to be part of our world again._

_What about Mulan?_

_Fiona said he's making pasta with_  
_Aurora._

_So everything's good?_

_If you can call belly aching about_  
_romantic stupidity good. What about_  
_you and Snow White?_

_Yeah we're ok._

_You sure?_

_Yeah. Merida, keep your eyes open._

_Always, Flynn._

"I do not understand why she appeared so vexed with me," a slight pout pulled at Thor's lips and Clint sighed, turning off his phone and stowing it in his pocket before returning his attention to the weight machine.

"She's probably not that upset," Clint assured, looking up at the demigod as Thor swung his thirty pound free-weights in massive circles as if he were doing some form of aerobics. "What did you say to her?"

"I asked if she would not be safer if I accompanied her," Thor replied. Clint stared at him blankly a moment.

"Sorry pal, you're thoroughly screwed," He shook his head at Thor's budding expression. "Not the good kind."

"Oh."

"Look, I've seen that friend of yours, Sif isn't it?" Clint pointed out. "So I know you must understand that women aren't helpless."

"Sif is one of the most formidable warriors of Asgard," Thor nodded. "She has never been defeated in combat by any beyond our shield brother's and those times have been few and far between."

"All right," Clint nodded, setting up the leg press. "Now think about how Sif would feel if you said that to her."

"I should never have cause to say such a thing to the lady Sif," Thor insisted. "she is a warrior of great renowned."

"She can take care of herself," Clint agreed. "So can Jane."

"Jane is a scholar of great wisdom," Thor looked at him with a perplexed expression.

"And she's no dummy," Clint agreed.

"I do not understand then why she did not welcome my presence," Thor insisted. "In my homeland it is the most honored task of the warrior class to stand guard over the ranks of the wise and learned so that they may devote themselves fully to deeper knowledge."

"Back the truck up here," Clint said with a grin. "Are you telling me that on Asgard bookworms rank higher than asskickers?" Thor stared back at him in bewilderment.

"Sorcerers... Scientists, like Jane..." Clint tried not to laugh. "Asgard puts a lot of stock in them?"

"It is considered quite a coup to win the heart of a scholar, yes," Thor stated proudly. Clint slumped back on the bench laughing until his sides ached. When he finally opened his eyes Thor was staring down at him worriedly.

"Are you well, friend Barton?"

"Dude, when she comes home later, tell her that," Clint snickered, rubbing his forehead. "Just tell her how prestigious it is that you managed to get a scientist for a girlfriend. It should fix at least most of your problems."

"Do you believe so?" Thor asked, helping him up.

"I know so," Clint nodded, thumping his arm. "Don't worry about it. Just trust me." Thor's brow knitted and he looked down at the floor.

"The ground trembles," Thor observed.

"Seriously?" Clint frowned. "I don't feel anyt..."

The shockwave hit him so hard he was slammed to the floor before he even had a chance to realize his feet had left the hardwood.

* * *

**Notes: **

A little note on Clint and Natasha's code names:

Clint and Nat are pretty much the best besties in the history of the universe in my headcanon. The other Avengers kind of have a betting pool as to how much is actually going on there but that's another note all together.

They both share a rather guilty attachment to animated fantasy films, both Disney and Dreamworks and one night, after Beauty and the Beast and too much vodka, the subject of Tony's stupid Clint nicknames came up. Clint insisted that if Tony was going to keep calling him Merida that turn about was fair play and they engaged in a debate over which Princess could replace which Avenger and no one would notice.

Of course Thor is Ariel, because he doesn't really belong in our world, but he's going to do everything in his power to make a place for himself here.

Tony is Mulan, because, after all, he's donned a mask and taken on a role he's ill equipped and completely unprepared for, surviving mainly on wits and luck.

Bruce is Fiona. Big... green... transformation... do the math.

Steve is Aurora, Sleeping Beauty, though being asleep under a sheet of ice for seventy years isn't really all that attractive.

And Coulson is Snow White. Because he died... but he got better.

At which point it seemed unfair that Natasha wasn't a princess, and Clint said so. Natasha insisted that she didn't need to be a princess because she clearly couldn't be replaced. Clint grudgingly agreed that this was true and told her she could pick her princess.

She settled on Flynn Rider, because, in her words he was "The most badass princess in Disney history"

Clint was forced to agree.


	2. Carrying the weight of the world

**2. Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.**

The explosion rattled the table and for a split second they stared at each other wide eyed, horrified silence settling over the bar. A moment later the patrons erupted in screams, scattering toward the doors and diving toward the back of the bar to cower away from the windows. As one, all six of them had their cell phones out.

"Tony, pick up the phone," Pepper hissed out. She stood to her feet, hurrying after Phil toward the window, out in the street more people were running, eastward.

"This isn't good," Phil observed. Pepper frowned, glaring at her phone. Phil motioned them out and Jane grasped hold of Darcy's arm, dragging her in their wake.

"Wait, Happy," Darcy pulled her phone away from her ear with a scowl. "Stop shouting, I have her right here, she's fine!"

"Happy?" Pepper blinked at her in surprise, her own phone still pressed to her ear.

"He's the only other person I know in New York," she shrugged. "We're all ok... whatever happened must have been in the next block." Phil and Natasha were already striding purposefully in the direction of the billowing smoke, frightened pedestrians giving them a wide berth on instinct. The others hurried after them, rounding the side street corner and stepping onto Broadway to see smoke rolling up from the subway entrance.

"Where is he?" Pepper demanded, pressing the redial as she turned to Darcy, the others looking equally frustrated.

"Happy, where are you?" Darcy's brow knitted.

"We need to get out of this area," Phil stated, turning to her. "We should head south, get clear of the scene."

"Tell Happy to pick us up a block south of where he dropped us off," Pepper ordered. Darcy nodded, relaying the information.

"He says he's in a parking garage the other side of Broadway." Darcy declared. "He'll be there to pick us up in less than ten minutes." Pepper turned on her heel barely taking one stride before a second explosion rattled the pavement and they turned to look down the street just as a massive fireball erupted. Pepper snatched Darcy's phone.

"Happy, there isn't a parking garage on the other side of Broadway!" She declared frantically.

"Not so much any more," Happy admitted. "It's ok, I'm fine, I was across the street."

"We'll come to you," Pepper insisted. "We're on our way."

"Ms. Potts, you really shouldn't do that," and she froze at the unease in his voice. "The area is completely torn up, there's a crater in the middle of the street. Have you been able to reach anyone in the Tower?"

"No," she admitted, glancing over her shoulder at the others who shook their collective heads.

"No answer from Rogers," Coulson admitted.

"I can't get Clint," Natasha frowned.

"Nothing from Bruce or Thor," Betty responded exchanging a look with Jane who sighed in frustration.

"I haven't been able to get anyone either," Happy added. "I've been dialing all the other phones. Ms Potts, you need to get everyone out of here and back to the Tower."

"But," Pepper winced, biting her lip.

"Ma'am," Happy's voice was stern. "He is never going to forgive me if anything happens to you. The limo is totaled, I can't get you back to the Tower and it's not safe for you to come get me. Take the others, head back now. I'll be fine."

"You're injured, aren't you?" Pepper's voice shook, her hand clutching tight to the phone.

"It's not bad," Happy insisted. "NYFD will be here any second, I'll get treated and get out of the area. I'm no good to you right now anyway. Get to safety, stay with Agent Romanov. I'll be fine."

"If you're not, he's never going to forgive me," Pepper's brow furrowed in distress.

"Pepper, go. Now." She stared into the phone for a moment.

"Understood, we're on our way back," She squared her shoulders. "Stay safe."

"You too ma'am," the line fell silent and she thumbed the phone off, handing it back to Darcy.

"We're out a limo," Pepper stated as she turned to face the others.

"And the subway," Betty observed.

"And we're not getting a cab in this mess," Jane sighed.

"I can't raise anyone at SHIELD either," Natasha frowned, staring at her phone as if it had offended her before glancing at Coulson who shook his head as well. "The phone lines are probably swamped."

"We're going to have to get back to the Tower on our own then," Pepper sighed.

"At least we can see what direction to walk," Jane forced a smile. They turned as a group, heading away from the explosion toward Central Park West.

"What do you think?" Natasha asked, pulling her coat more tightly around her shoulders. "Gas main?"

"Train crash, maybe," Phil nodded. "The explosion was too big to be your garden variety terrorist."

"What about a not-garden-variety terrorist?" Darcy asked curiously.

"I like how you think," Natasha stated, an amused smile curling her lips.

"There aren't that many of those," Phil explained. "Someone like that wouldn't target a random subway station on the Upper West Side."

"So they'd go for the jugular," Darcy nodded. "Avengers Tower, or SHIELD HQ. They'd hit the biggest threat and neutralize it instead of wasting expensive bombs on pizza joints and parking decks. That makes sense." Phil gave her a look that could only be described as impressed.

"Yeah ok," Jane stated defensively, linking her arm with Darcy's. "This one's mine, get your own."

"Hey, I said I liked her," Natasha declared with a smile. "That's motivation enough to keep her out of SHIELD's clutches."

"I'd feel a lot better if I could get ahold of Bruce," Betty sighed, her phone pressed over her heart.

"I'm sure they're fine," Pepper assured. "In an emergency the phone lines tend to get overloaded. It's probably nothing to worry about." She didn't look as if she believed it though and Betty bit her lip.

"We'll get a cab and get back to the tower, chances are they've already scrambled to help with this and that's why we're not getting anyone." Phil insisted. "It's good for PR for them to be present in a crisis."

"No offense, Phil," Jane sighed, her arm tightening instinctively around Darcy's, her brow furrowed in worry. "And I know you mean well, but I'm having a really hard time believing you."

"He's usually pretty convincing," Natasha observed with a faint smirk. "what's tipping you off?"

"Probably that," Betty declared, freezing on the corner of Central Park West. Five pairs of eyes turned to follow her gaze and Natasha let out a curse in Russian.

"Oh no," Pepper declared, her voice shaking only slightly. Avengers Tower rose into the air of the New York skyline beyond Central Park like a spire, a sickening yellow glow enveloping the entire building. Phil rushed forward and she grabbed his arm instinctively. His shoulder's stiffened as his eyes turned south west and she peered over his shoulder to see SHIELD HQ bathed in a similar eerie light.

"So," Darcy squeaked out, staring wide eyed as her fingers dug into Jane's arm. "Not Garden Variety then?"

* * *

"JARVIS!" Tony gasped out from where he lay sprawled on the kitchen floor. "Protocol Code-101-Lockdown!" He gulped in horror at the silence, his eyes growing wide with alarm.

"JARVIS!"

"I... am having some... difficulty responding, sir," The AI declared, his speech stilted.

"Virus? Hackers?" Tony demanded. "Give me something here JARVIS!"

"I am detecting a... gravitational field that... appears to be interfering with some... of my processors," JARVIS stated.

"Yeah," Tony gasped, shifting his eyes to stare at his fingers. He tried to peel up just one, only to have it remain steadfastly stuck to the floor. "I kind of noticed that."

"I shall attempt to... secure what systems... I can sir," JARVIS declared.

"Defenses are top priority," Tony ordered. "And see if you can get tabs on the others."

"Understood, sir." A groan met his ears and Tony drew in a shaky breath, closing his eyes.

"Can you move, Cap?" he gritted out. Tony rolled his eyes up, trying to focus on the sink. Steve Rogers was crumpled against the cabinets, his head lolled back on the door, wincing as he shook his head.

"My chest hasn't felt this tight since I last had pneumonia," Steve complained, staring at his legs as he struggled desperately to move them. His eyes widened in alarm. "Tony! Tony, the arc reactor, are you?"

"I'm good, take it easy," Tony insisted. "I'm still breathing ok."

"I'm barely breathing ok!" Steve protested.

"You're folded up like a rag doll," Tony reminded. "As long as I don't struggle and I don't panic I should be ok. Cap, you're not trying to get up are you?"

"Yeah," Steve gasped out.

"Nope nope nope!" Tony protested, wincing as he tried to wiggle his toes. "Steve, lay down on the floor and wait for the forcefield to lift! This is bad, this is crazy bad. This is evil genius tech gone completely wrong, I know these things and this shit will kill you. Now lay down on the floor!"

"This is an attack, Tony," Steve's voice sounded as if someone were squeezing the air from his lungs. "We can't just sit here and wait for whoever's done this to come by and take us out."

"Not sitting," Tony insisted. "sprawled out on my expensive flagstone like an area rug. And I have to say I am really put out. For what I paid for this floor it ought to be a lot more comfortable than this."

"It's stone," Steve observed. He'd managed to pull himself part way up the counter, one foot under him and the other half wedged under the cabinet.

"That is a poor excuse for being this uncomfortable," Tony countered. "And it's cold, I could have sworn I'd paid for radiant heating. I'm having words with my contractor."

"How far do you think the field reaches?" Steve asked.

"If we're lucky, it disappears somewhere near the service elevator," Tony replied. He closed his eyes, drawing in a slow shallow breath. The pressure on his chest wasn't damaging the arc reactor but it was definitely doing nothing for his diminished lung capacity.

"What if we aren't lucky?" Steve choked back a moan, his foot slowly scraping across the floor.

"Couple of blocks," Tony swallowed, trying to hold back the panic. "Worst case scenario can't be more than a couple of blocks. The power output would have to be enormous."

"So the good news is, the ladies and Phil are probably ok," Steve gasped out.

"The bad news is, we're never lucky," Tony added. There was a pained groan and the sound of a body hitting the floor hard.

"Feel like listening to me now?" Tony asked sourly, tilting his head just enough to see Steve sprawled out on the tile beside him, a slightly concussed expression on his face.

"I hit my head on your flagstone," Steve observed, blinking at the ceiling as if he were having trouble focusing.

"You cracked it with that thick head of yours, didn't you?" Tony demanded.

"I thought you were having the contractor in anyway," Steve countered. He let out a sigh. "Our goose is cooked now, isn't it?"

"Yup," Tony answered, popping the P.

"What do we do?"

"We lay here and wait for Pepper and Agent Agent to save us," Tony replied.

"We are never going to live this down."


	3. Don't try to steal my thunder god

**3. Don't try to steal my thunder god.**

"Hawkeye, my friend, do you still live?" Clint groaned, trying to push himself up but his arms and legs refused to move.

"Thor, I'm pinned down!" He shouted in alarm, gasping at the pressure on his chest. He squinted, trying to force his blurry vision to focus and Thor's bowed head and hunched shoulders swam into view.

"Indeed," the Asgardian tried to nod. "some great weight seeks to drag us down."

"This is bad," Clint stated, struggling to fight back panic. "JARVIS?" there was a faint clicking noise but no response from the Tower's AI.

"We are compromised," Thor observed.

"Looks like," Clint agreed. "We have to assume that the Tower's already infiltrated and the others are incapacitated. Can you move at all?"

"It is a struggle," Thor admitted. "It took me several minutes to reach you. Give me a moment and I will attempt to lift you."

"No," Clint winced when his head refused to move. "Thor, listen to me, you need to get out of here and bring help. I'll only slow you down. Every second could count. You don't have time to waste. Try to get clear, I'm no good to you like this anyway."

"I cannot leave you like this," Thor protested firmly.

"If you don't we're both going to get killed," Clint insisted. "You're barely keeping your head up and I can't move at all. You need to use what strength you have to get clear of this field and get backup." Thor shook his head slowly, groaning as he struggled to his feet, his shoulders bowed.

"Thor, let go of me!" Clint demanded as Thor's fingers tangled in the front of his henley. Thor let out a grunt, slowly dragging Clint across the floor. "I mean it! Damn you! let go of me and get the hell out of here!"

"I will not leave you in the middle of the floor to be slaughtered like a lindworm," Thor declared with conviction.

"What in the name of hell is a lindworm?" Clint snapped, he let out a pained groan as Thor dragged him another foot. "You know what? Forget it, I don't care. Let me go before you pass out!" The air rushed out of his lungs as he was dropped to the floor.

"You're putting me in the closet," it was an observation more than a question and he stared up at Thor who was leaning against the supply cupboard door, gasping for air.

"You will only bluster loudly until I comply with your wishes," Thor stated. "I would prefer to move about with less commotion."

"Respect, Thor," Barton smiled softly despite the thread of fear he could still feel twining under the surface.

"I shall return for you as soon as I am able," Thor promised, pushing himself up. He slammed the door of the storage cupboard shut and Clint listened to him stumble slowly away. Clint drew in a slow shaky breath, his eyes tracing the walls of the dark closet, cataloging each item. A bag of basketballs hung on the hook directly over his head. Two of them were completely flat from the time he and Steve had tried to teach Thor to slam dunk. A can of tennis balls rested on the shelf above his feet over the collection of rackets. Natasha had painted cartoon faces of all the Avengers on them with a sharpie and she and Tony had spent an entire afternoon once smacking them into a cardboard cut out of Fury they'd taped on the gym wall. In the far corner he could just make out a hula hoop and he bit his lip, tears stinging his eyes as he remembered Bruce and Pepper having a hoop off in the rec room last Christmas. Damn, he hoped they were all right.

He closed his eyes, trying not to think about it, straining to hear the sound of Thor's feet dragging slowly across the gym floor.

"In here!" It was an unfamiliar voice and Barton froze, holding his breath at the sound of a machine gun pin being pulled back. "This one's still moving!"

"You are unwelcome here!" Thor declared with all the aplomb he could muster. Which was quite a bit, all things considered.

"Take him out!"

Clint nearly bit though his tongue to keep from crying out but the gunfire he expected to hear was supplanted by the sound of an electrical discharge and he stifled a curse. Thor hated tasers.

"Turn the field off in here and secure him!" the stranger ordered, Clint only had a moment to register the words when suddenly the pressure on his arms and legs disappeared. He fought the urge to draw in a gasping breath and he clapped his hand over his mouth, drawing in two deep breaths through his nose before he slid silently to his knees and peered though the crack in the closet door.

"How was he even moving?" One of the black clad soldiers demanded. They were outfitted like special forces but there were no markings on their uniforms, there faces almost entirely obscured by safety glasses.

"I think it's the Asgardian," One of them stated, kicking Thor's arm to make sure he was well and truly incapacitated.

"Don't mess around," one of the others, clearly their commander, barked. "tag him with a controller and take him down to holding." Clint watched as one of the soldiers attached a black disk to the back of Thor's neck and four of them hoisted him up, groaning under his weight.

"We've got another," the commander relayed though the radio.

"We just tagged Stark and Rogers," another voice answered. "Is that all of them?"

"I don't know," the commander shrugged, his eyes scanning the gym suspiciously. "Our orders were not to assume anything. Go through and make sure the rest of the levels are clear."

Clint watched in silence as he retreated, his footfalls reverberating down the hall. This evening had gone downhill rather quickly for a night off. He swore under his breath. Sometimes he was really glad to be the Avenger everyone forgot about.

* * *

"Why can't we get a cab?" Darcy demanded in frustration, folding her arms over her chest in a sulk, glaring at Natasha out of the corner of her eye. The redhead had shed her coat partway, letting it pool at her elbows to reveal the scooping neckline of her red sheath dress.

"If that doesn't get us a ride nothing will," Jane shook her head. Betty turned to look at her, and the pair sighed. Betty, shrugged out of her overcoat, smoothing out imagined wrinkles in her dress and and Jane undid the tie on her sweater, pulling it back from the neckline of her blouse.

"You're nuts," Darcy observed, pulling her leather jacket tighter around her little black dress. "I'm freezing!"

"Anyone with any sense is getting out of this part of the city as fast as they can," Phil shook his head. "Ladies, I'd suggest we cross the street and try to get a cab going north. We can go to Mt Sinai and I can call in a helicopter and have you all evacuated until this is cleared up."

"There isn't a helipad at Mt Sinai," Pepper stated. Phil only stared back at her with an unreadable expression.

"I'm not going anywhere," Betty insisted, folding her arms over her chest.

"Me either," Pepper agreed. "Phil they're in trouble and SHIELD headquarters is completely cut off. You can't just walk away from them."

"I hadn't intended to," he intoned flatly. "I intended to leave you in Agent Romanov's care and head there directly myself on foot."

"Through the park?" Jane asked in horror.

"At night?" Darcy added. "Alone?"

"It's not as crazy as it sounds," Natasha replied with an elegant half shrug.

"You can just forget that plan," Pepper shook her head, her brow furrowing angrily. "Tony is in there and no offense Phil but I'd very much like to see him alive again. You're going to need backup."

"Ms. Potts," Natasha said gently, a sympathetic look on her face.

"No," Pepper declared firmly. "I'm sorry Nat, but no, don't do that. We've been through too much for you to do a Rushman on me now. Back me up here." Natasha seemed to think it over a moment before turning to Phil with an almost helpless expression.

"What's a Rushman?" Darcy whispered loudly. Jane shrugged in reply.

"If anything happens to any of you," he sighed, looking each of them over a moment before turning back to Natasha. "This is a horrible idea."

"Phil, they'll be dead before we can get backup here," Natasha insisted. "They're all we've got." Phil rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and finger with a sigh, looking up once more at Avengers Tower.

"What do you think?" He asked seriously.

"Has to be an electromagnetic forcefield of some kind," Jane answered, giving it a considering look. "It's probably locking out all the access points. It's definitely interfering with transmissions."

"Is there a way around it?" Natasha asked.

"Doesn't JARVIS have one of those EMP things?" Darcy asked. "Tony said something about it the other day."

"Yeah it's on the lower levels below the labs," Betty nodded. "He installed it to take out any ground assaults. JARVIS could activate it on voice command but we'd have to get a transmission though the field."

"We might be able to do that from close proximity," Jane suggested. "It depends on the strength of the field. If it's localized enough we might be able to punch though."

"The second everything went crazy JARVIS would have gone into lockdown." Pepper pointed out, turning to Phil. "So the normal protocols won't work. Do you think that you can get past that?"

"I don't know," Phil shrugged, his brow knitting. "Maybe."

"You're going to hack JARVIS?" Darcy declared in disbelief. "That I'd like to see."

"He's done it before," Natasha stated, an amused smirk curling her lips.

"Seriously?" Darcy gaped up at her. The assassin nodded.

"I was there," Pepper assured.

"That is so totally badass!" Darcy squealed, turning to Phil. "Can I be you when I grow up?"

"So just to be clear," Phil drew in a long slow breath. "We're going to cross Central Park in the middle of the night, try to worm past a forcefield, hack into the most advance AI in the world and try to trigger an EMP that will take out half the tech in a three block radius in the hope that it's enough to give five probably restrained Avengers enough leverage to turn the tables on this weeks' supervillain?" Everyone was silent.

"Sounds about right, yeah," Betty nodded.

"I'm on board," Natasha shrugged.

"Well it's the best we've got," Pepper pointed out. Phil nodded in grudging agreement. He held out his arm to Pepper and she linked hers around his elbow smiling. With a shake of his head he looked up at the light, hurrying across the street with her, the others hot on their heels.

"Are we going to get mugged?" Darcy asked, popping her gum. "I've never been mugged."

"Darcy," Jane shot at her warningly.

"I like this plan," Darcy continued, half skipping ahead to join Natasha who flung an arm around her shoulder. "I'm excited to be a part of it."

"Darcy, for the love of god!" Jane growled as Betty and Phil struggled not to laugh. "Stop talking!"

* * *

Bruce blinked his eyes open slowly, drawing in a shaky breath. He felt as if he'd been buried beneath a concrete wall and he stared up at the ceiling of the elevator for a long moment, unmoving. He could feel a trickle of something wet creeping down his forehead and he raised a hand.

His hand didn't move.

Panic seized in his chest and he struggled to tamp it down, drawing in slow, steadying breaths.

"No," he whispered, screwing his eyes shut. "you can't transform in here. The elevator's too small. You'll rip it apart, you'll fall down sixty floors and tear yourself to ribbons in the elevator shaft. Stay calm." The wave washed over him, ebbing only slightly and he gritted his teeth.

"JARVIS?" he forced out.

"...ow... may I... hel..p...you..doct...anner?" the AI's voice stilted over the intercom.

"Oh that's really not good," Bruce drew in another slow breath. "JARVIS, are we on lockdown?"

"...es...octor."

"That's something, at least" Bruce sighed. "Let's keep things to yes and no for right now, ok?"

"Ye.."

"Great," Bruce closed his eyes again, calming his breathing. "Is Tony incapacitated?"

"Yes." Bruce swore under his breath.

"What about Steve?"

"...es."

"Thor?"

"Ye..."

"Clint?" Bruce felt his chest tighten.

"No."

"Finally some good news," Bruce swallowed. "JARVIS is this gravity field covering the whole building?"

"No,"

"So it's localized," he paused. "To just the top floors, right?"

"..es"

"Can we call for backup?"

"No."

"JARVIS, is someone in your systems?"

"No," Bruce breathed a sigh of relief.

"JARVIS, enact Protocol Ocean-13" Bruce ordered, his voice shaking only slightly. He closed his eyes, hoping desperately that the elevator safety brakes would hold. There was a long pause.

"No,"

Bruce bit his lip, breathing slowly.

"You're not leaving me with a lot of options here, buddy," Bruce pointed out.

"N..." JARVIS answered.

"Any bright ideas?" he asked hopefully.

"No."

"I thought not," Bruce admitted. "If I transformed, do you think the field would still be able to hold me?" There was another long pause, far longer than was normal for the AI to run calculations.

"JARVIS?" His breath caught in his throat. He could swear he heard footsteps in the corridor beyond the elevator door. He hissed out a curse.

"JARVIS, belay that!" he ordered. "Have we been infiltrated? JARVIS!"

"He's in here!" an unfamiliar, muffled, voice shouted.

"Oh god let it be SHIELD," Bruce pleaded. "JARVIS?!"

"Get it open!"

He knew that voice and his blood ran cold in his veins. He could almost feel his eyes begin to turn green. Good idea or not, it was going to be his only option left in just a moment. He let out a shout of pain as his hands grew, but the transformation wasn't taking place normally, as if the field were somehow holding him back.

The door slid open and the last face he'd ever wanted to see again appeared.

"Hello, Dr. Banner," General Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross declared, a vindictive smile curling his lips. "Fancy seeing you here."

It was the last thing Bruce saw before a tranquilizer pierced his neck.


	4. A Funny Thing Happened

**4. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Avengers Tower**

Steve blinked his eyes groggily, biting back a groan as he winced at the pain in his neck where the taser darts had caught him. He made to shake his head but something had him locked in place against the rec room wall. He let out a sigh, the fact that he'd no longer been pasted to the kitchen floor had lulled him into the hope he'd escaped the gravity field. Clearly gravity was a little more adaptable in this millennium

"Tony, you ok?" He shifted his gaze from side to side, catching a glimpse of a dark head beside him. "Tony?"

"He is not responding," Thor replied, his voice heavy with fatigue. Steve struggled, turning his head just a fraction. On the other side of Tony's unconscious form he could just make out Thor's blond head.

"I was really hoping I wasn't going to see you here," Steve admitted. "How are you holding up?"

"I am unharmed," Thor stated.

"I'm pretty sure we're all harmed at this point, Thor," Steve glanced around the room cautiously, no one appeared to be present but he wasn't stupid enough to believe no one was listening. He gauged the wording of his next question.

"Any news on the others?" he asked finally.

"I have not seen Banner," Thor stated. "Do you know if he went out with the others?" Steve didn't answer for a long moment. Thor had been with Clint but he was purposefully not mentioning him.

"I don't know where he is," Steve admitted truthfully. Maybe Bruce had managed to get clear. One thing was certain, Clint was probably still free. If he could stay that way, they might have a chance.

"I am rather wishing Jane had allowed me to accompany her," Thor declared. Steve struggled not to laugh. There was a pained groan and Rogers allowed himself a momentary swell of relief.

"Tony?" he prompted.

"Somebody hit me in the head," Tony mumbled groggily. "That's the only explanation I'm going to accept for feeling this lousy." He tried to turn his head and Steve drew in a sharp breath as panic seized the other man.

"Tony stay calm!" Steve insisted.

"I've been captured!" Tony was fully awake in an instant, eyes blown wide in fear. "We've been captured! Get me the hell out of here!"

"Tony!" Steve managed to keep his voice both calm and authoritative as Stark struggled vainly to pull away from the wall. "Someone attacked the Tower, remember?" Tony drew in several long, slow breaths. He glanced at Thor out of the corner of his eye.

"What are you doing here, Goldilocks?" he asked, his tone awkward as if he were half embarrassed by his reaction to waking up restrained to a wall.

"Hanging out," Thor deadpanned, looking up slightly at his hands pinned over his head. Tony let out a snort of amusement.

"Any chance at backup?" he asked hopefully.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Steve confessed. They were silent a long moment and Tony's eyes swept the rec room with a calculating expression.

"Banner isn't here?" he asked, tension in his tone.

"I was a little worried about that too," Steve admitted.

"No need to worry about Dr. Banner," an all too familiar voice declared from the doorway. Steve gritted his teeth, he should have known.

"Well well well," Tony declared sardonically. "If it isn't our old friend, General Thunderpants Ross. How ya doing, Teddy?" Ross stood in the doorway with narrowed eyes, a pair of guards in SWAT armor flanking him.

"A bit better than you," Ross replied dersively. He crossed the room with deliberate strides, stopping a foot from Tony with a look of distaste.

"I take it you are familiar with this mortal," Thor stated, his expression unamused.

"We have history," Tony mocked drolly "it's a dark, ugly period of atrocities."

"What have you done with Banner?" Steve demanded angrily.

"We secured the monster in one of the lower labs," Ross answered offhandedly.

"If we'd secured the monster, you'd be the one stuck to the wall," Steve shot back venomously. Ross turned narrowed eyes on him.

"Really, Captain, I thought you'd have realized by now we're on the same side," Ross declared. "We want the same things, we even both want Banner protecting us from alien threats."

"We didn't invite you to help us do our job," Steve ground out.

"That's your oversight," Ross insisted. "I've only ever tried to be helpful."

"That's not how I remember our last encounter," Steve snapped. Ross's face turned a subtle shade of angry red.

"What I'm really fascinated by," Tony interrupted, his eyes narrowing in a calculating expression. "is how you managed to get inside my tower."

"Let's call it an... inside job," Ross answered nastily. Steve's expression disintegrated in a look of betrayal.

"And there's a loaded statement if ever I've heard one," Tony observed, a dark grin curling his lips.

"As much as I'm enjoying your posturing," Ross stated, retrieving a remote from his pocket. "I have plans for the evening." He pressed one of the buttons and Steve tumbled from the wall, landing on his face on the floor. Rogers scrambled to get his arms under him but before he could push himself up Ross pressed a second button and he collapsed in a heap.

"If you harm one hair on his head!" Thor threatened angrily.

"It's not his hair I'm interested in," Ross answered condescendingly as his guards grasped hold of Rogers, dragging him away.

"When I get out of here," Tony stated seriously. "And rest assured, I will get out of here. I'm going to make you spend the rest of your life regretting you were ever in the same room with me."

"Please, Stark, who doesn't regret time in your presence?" Ross replied, eyeing him with disgust. "By the time you're unstuck from that wall I'll have what I want and there won't be anything you can do to stop me. You're not all powerful Stark, despite what you think. Even your money isn't enough to pay to rebuild all the bridges you've burned." He turned on his heel, striding out of the room.

"I really hate that asshole," Tony stated with a resigned sigh.

"I am concerned for the lives of our shield brothers," Thor admitted, and Tony was sure he heard the faintest hint of nervousness in the other's tone. Wasn't that alarming, Thor nervous.

"Yeah me too," Tony admitted grudgingly.

* * *

"I'm trying really really hard not to think of all the ways this is a horrible idea," Jane admitted, her arm linked with Betty's as they stepped quickly down the path, the trees overhead were beginning to lose their leaves and now and again between branches and buildings they could occasionally catch sight of the sickening yellow glow that enveloped Avengers Tower.

"We just have to keep moving," Betty insisted. "We'll be fine."

"When this is all over I'm sitting in the bath for a week and I'm not coming out until I have the skin of a nine hundred year old." Jane insisted vehemently. "I don't remember any of this being in my contract."

"I'm one hundred percent sure it wasn't in mine," Betty nodded in agreement.

"What are we doing?" Jane asked as if the full weight of their situation had suddenly fallen on her.

"Waiting for the other shoe to drop," Betty sighed.

"This is crazy."

"You won't get any argument from me," Betty nodded in agreement.

"I kind of knew going in that you can't date a superhero and not deal with some crazy crap," Jane continued. "It's logical, I mean, I dated a National Medal winner once and _that_ was a nightmare and a half."

"Jane," Betty prompted, the corners of her full lips curling up.

"I know I'm out of my depth," Jane shook her head. "I knew I was out of my depth when Men in Black were stealing my stuff while a giant robot blew up my town. When things like that happen you just know you're out of your league."

"Jane," Betty nearly giggled as the shorter woman's head swung around to meet her gaze, her eyes wide. "You're babbling."

"Yeah, I am, kind of," Jane nodded in agreement. "I wonder where the others are."

"Keep moving," Betty insisted, tugging her along. They walked in silence for a few yards, their eyes searching the landscape for signs of movement.

"So," Betty prompted as they continued on though the park. "Giant Robot?"

"Huge," Jane nodded. "Massive, flying, fire spewing, alien robot."

"I think I'm going to go with Darcy and ask how this could possibly be our lives," Betty admitted.

"I think I'd rather have the robot back over this," Jane confessed worriedly. "I felt better equipped to deal with that."

"You felt better equipped to deal with a giant alien robot?" Betty asked in disbelief. Jane nodded. "I am _really_ sorry that I made absolutely no effort to get to know you at Culver." Jane's cheeks colored.

"Hey ladies," the drawling voice made Betty's skin crawl and she reflexively tightened her hand on Jane's arm as they turned around. "Two pretty things like you shouldn't be in the park alone... bad things could happen." Three men in shabby, ill fitting clothing stood behind them, a handful of paces apart, the one in the middle wore a smug smile as he toyed with the knife in his hand.

"And the shoe drops," Betty gritted her teeth. She pulled on Jane's arm and they turned on their heels, making a break for it. They didn't cover a step before two more men stepped onto the path in front of them.

"This doesn't have to get ugly, ladies," the smug one said easily. "Just hand over the purses and we'll be on our way." Jane turned around slowly, keeping Betty at her back.

"No," she said flippantly, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

"No?" the thug looked somewhat offended and his eyes narrowed threateningly.

"Deaf and stupid?" Jane inquired curiously. "No wonder you have to resort to snatching handbags, who'd hire you."

"Bait him, don't piss him off!" Betty hissed.

"Listen, bitch!"

But that was all he said. A figure dropped out of nowhere, landing in the middle of his spine and driving him into the pavement face first. Natasha's leg swung out, catching one of the attackers in the chin just as Pepper boxed the other in the side of the head, sending him clattering to the ground. Jane whirled just in time to see Phil grab the last two, banging their heads together and sending them sprawling like rag dolls.

"Great job ladies," Phil nodded as he frisked down the thugs, pulling a varied collection of weapons from their pockets. "You pulled off scared, bravado perfectly. I was almost convinced myself that you were terrified."

"I was terrified!" Jane stated.

"Where are the illegal firearms?" Natasha asked irritably as she tossed a box cutter over her shoulder. "I was promised illegal firearms. What's the good of crime rates going up if I can get an illegal firearm out of it?"

"This guys' got a gun," Pepper remarked, pulling the clip out of the semiautomatic and checking it. "Fully loaded."

"This one too," Phil nodded, doing the same. He reengaged the safety and held it out to Betty. "I take it you know what to do with one of these."

"Army brat," Betty shrugged, running the gun through a safety check before nodding in satisfaction.

"I swear, they shouldn't be allowed to have illegal guns if they can't be bothered to take care of them," Natasha declared crossly, checking over Pepper's gun before handing it back to her.

"That's why they're illegal," Pepper pointed out.

"Where's Darcy?" Jane asked in alarm only half paying attention as Phil handed her a knife.

"All clear, Darcy!" Natasha called.

"I didn't get to tase anybody!" she complained, scrambling out of the shrubbery nearby, her taser clutched tightly in both hands.

"You'll get your chance, baby," Natasha promised, searching the last of their attackers. She pulled out a revolver, staring at it as if she'd never seen one before. "What the hell is this?"

"I call dibs on that one when we're done," Phil stated with a bright smile, half leaning over her shoulder as she held it out between her thumb and finger as if it were slightly slimy.

"What are you going to do with it?" Natasha demanded in disgust. "Stuff it and mount it over your fireplace?"

"I was going to put it in a display case, actually," Phil admitted, taking it from her and checking the chamber. "Darcy, you passed your conceal/carry class, right?"

"Oh you are not giving her an actual gun!" Jane protested in horror as Darcy's eyes lit up.

"Well he can't give it to you!" Darcy insisted shoving her taser at Natasha and making grabby hands as Phil handed over the revolver. "You've never even touched one!"

"If you shoot me, I'll make you sorry," he stated seriously.

"I will be totally responsible, O Captain, My Captain," she nodded, looking the gun over carefully before eyeing her skin tight dress. "Where am I supposed to put this thing?"

"I have some suggestions," Natasha gave her an indulgent smile, come here." Phil took the taser from her and held it out to Jane as Natasha began an inspection of Darcy's outfit.

"Oh no," she shook her head, holding up her hands as if warding off a predator.

"You're not going to kill anyone with it," Phil insisted firmly. "You don't even have to use it, but if you get cornered I'd prefer not to have to tell Thor that I sent you into this unarmed."

"I have a knife," Jane protested, holding it out as if it were a meat cleaver.

"Do you actually know how to fight with a knife?" Betty asked curiously as she tucked one of the mugger's switchblades into her bra.

"Do you?" Jane asked in horror.

"Army brat," Betty repeated with a shrug.

"Taser it is," Phil stated firmly, shoving it in the pocket of her sweater.

"Shouldn't we do something with these guys?" Pepper asked curiously.

"It's kind of pointless to call the cops," Natasha stated, neatly tucking the revolver into the inside of Darcy's jacket. "We can't stick around to give a statement and they won't have any weapons they can get busted for."

"Seems a shame not to at least deter them a little," Pepper sighed.

"Oh oh!" Darcy bounced on her heels. "I have an idea! Does one of them have a lighter?" She turned to Jane with a manic grin and Jane let out a laugh.

"Ok, strip em as fast as you can, guys," Jane ordered.

* * *

Bruce awoke in one of the biolabs, the chemical smell he'd come to associate with hospitals and gene splicing wafting on the air. He drew in a shaky breath before attempting to sit up but wasn't at all surprised to discover that he couldn't move, despite his lack of visible restraints. The lab was dark, apart from the work light that blared down into his face and he winced. His head seemed more moveable now and he peered into the darkness searchingly, willing the panic just under the surface to remain there.

"JARVIS?" he called out. There was no answer and he drew in a shaky breath. He was on his own, well and truly on his own and if experience had taught him anything, that was a very bad thing unless it had been his idea to begin with.

"Long time no see, Mr. Green," the saccharine voice intoned from the shadows.

"Sterns?" Bruce let out a gasp, struggling to stay calm. "Sterns, what are you doing here?"

"Well that's the million dollar question, isn't it?" Sterns replied. "I have to say, Bruce, I'm terribly excited to see you. Yes, I am."

"Sterns, whatever you've done with my blood," Bruce choked, his heart was beating much too fast. "I'm begging you, I am begging you please, please stop this before someone gets killed."

"What I've done," Sterns laughed hollowly, circling the dark edges of the lab. "What I've done wasn't half what I wanted to do, Bruce. You never heard about what happened that night, after your little, workout in Harlem? I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose, you being so far off the grid as it were."

"Sterns, please," Bruce pleaded.

"After that madman Blonsky broke out of my lab and incapacitated me, the strangest thing happened," Sterns continued as if he hadn't heard. "This woman showed up. Lovely creature, red hair, perfect lips, quite the work of art. She destroyed everything the Abomination hadn't crushed, left me for dead in the smoldering ruin." Bruce held his breath for a moment, he was quite sure he recognized that description.

"Sterns," he gulped. "Listen to me, please, you have to listen to me. We can fix this, I know things didn't turn out the way you wanted them but I swear, we can fix this."

"Fix it?" And there was amusement in his tone. "My dear, dear Mr Green, fixing would imply that something is broken, in need of repair. He stepped slowly from the shadows, his lips pulled tight in a wide grin as he loomed over Bruce.

"There's absolutely nothing to fix," he insisted. "Except perhaps you, Bruce. You don't mind if call you Bruce, do you?"

Bruce Banner stared up at him in revulsion, Samuel Sterns' skull was elongated and deformed, his head bulbous on his narrow shoulders. A faint green cast tinged his skin and for one brief moment Bruce entertained the thought that it must be a trick of the light but as the ghastliness of what he was truly seeing set in he sucked in a horrified breath.

"Oh my god," he gasped out.

"Now now, Bruce," Sterns gave him a smile that was meant to be charming as he turned to his equipment. "no need for gods here. In fact the gods are already here. You and I, we're so much more than these petty, average mortals could ever fathom. The new Pantheon. And whom shall you be, Mr Green? Aries, Durga, Set, Mars?"

"I've already got a war god, sorry," Bruce answered. Sterns let out a laugh.

"Yes, that blond friend of yours," he nodded indulgently. "He's more than welcome to join us on Olympus. In fact I expect they'll all be joining us soon enough. The new deities of the modern world, and I, I will be their Leader."

"Sterns, don't do this," Bruce pleaded. "Whatever you're planning, whatever it is, I'm begging you, don't."

"Don't worry, Bruce," Sterns soothed. "There's nothing to fear. Nothing at all. In fact, I'm going to make you all better." He reached for the surgical tray, his fingers wrapping caressingly around the handle of something that looked suspiciously like a gun.

"Shall we begin?"


	5. Close only counts in Hammer tech

**5. "Close" only counts in Hammer tech and hand-grenades. **

Clint Barton slithered his way silently through the vents. Contrary to popular belief he didn't really like ductwork as a general rule, there was nowhere to pull back a bow. He'd always been partial to drop ceilings and wet walls, they were his avenue of choice but Stark was a paranoid bastard who had fitted practically every floor of his tower with infrastructure walls that made moving from one zone to another pretty much impossible for anyone who weighed more than ninety pounds when soaking wet.

He allowed himself to reflect for a moment on how much he'd appreciate having Steve Rogers; pre-serum for an ops buddy right now. With a sigh he peered though the ceiling vent, cautiously checking for the all clear.

"Hey, JARVIS, you still with us buddy?" He whispered, sticking the landing in the middle of the bed and rolling expertly onto one knee, his gun drawn and pointed at the door.

"I am, in most respects, Agent Barton," The AI confirmed, a hint of frustration in his tone. "I am currently unable to access anything on floors forty to seventy-one. My access on the remaining floors is sporadic at best."

"Yeah I got that," Clint nodded. "About the time I tried to get you to help me on sixty-six."

"I do apologize, Agent." JARVIS sighed.

"Hey man, it's not your fault," Clint shook his head. "What about his floor? Any rogue bad guys lurking around?

"The area is clear sir," JARVIS answered. "I can keep you informed of a change in status."

"Great," Clint nodded, holstering his sidearm. He took in the opulent bedroom with a critical eye. "JARVIS, I'm going to have to ask you some questions and you might not be comfortable with answering them. So I'm going to preface them by saying that the only thing I want is to take out our infiltrators and save Tony's life and everyone else's. You can tell Tony everything I ask later so he can change it, but right now lives are at stake and I need your help."

"I will do everything I can, Agent," JARVIS assured.

"Ok," Clint took a deep breath. He rolled off the bed and strode across the room, pushing open the doors. He drew in a steadying breath as he looked over the sitting room of Tony's private suite and the New York skyline beyond. A hazy sickly yellow glow obscured the windows and he crossed the room cautiously, inspecting the glass. "I'm 90% sure Stark has a private server on this floor and probably the ability to turn this entire suite into a panic room. Am I right?" He could almost hear the hesitant pause.

"I will answer the question if you will inform me as to how you came to that conclusion," JARVIS offered finally.

"Pretty simple, really," Clint shrugged, scowling as he leaned his face against the window, trying to determine how far the energy field extended. "It's exactly what I would do if I had Tony's brains and unlimited resources."

"You are correct in your assessment," JARVIS admitted. "This is one of the few floors where I am completely unimpaired for that reason."

"That is the best news I've heard today," Clint sighed in relief. "Ok, next question: would it be possible for you to lock the panic room down all on your own with no one here?"

"Yes," JARVIS answered. "however I fail to see the benefit of such a maneuver."

"It's just something I'm holding in reserve in the back of my head," Clint stated. "Kind of a safety net, you're important to Tony and I'm not going to let anything happen to you if I can help it."

"I'm most appreciative of that, sir," JARVIS admitted.

"I'm 'sir' now?" Clint asked in amusement. "great, I've been upgraded. Jay, can you get any communications out at all?"

"Nothing sir, internal phone lines are also not functioning," JARVIS replied. Clint swore.

"What about the terminal for your server here, am I allowed to use that?"

"I believe Mr. Stark would allow me to make an exception in this case, sir," JARVIS admitted as an interface screen rose from the middle of the bar. Clint slid onto one of the bar stools, his fingers ghosting over the screen, sending readings out to float in the air on the holoprojectors.

"The repulsers on levels forty through seventy-five are still active," he noted. "But the controls are locked out. Cellular and RF signals are being scrambled. JARVIS, what about this energy field, is it covering the whole building?"

"Affirmative," JARVIS answered. "I have been trying to gain access to their signal modulation but I've been without luck so far."

"Has anyone tried Protocol Ocean-13?" Clint asked curiously.

"I was unable to access the necessary power reserves," JARVIS admitted.

"Boy this day keeps getting better and better," Clint stared at the screen for a long moment, flicking though blocks of data. "What about the security cameras?"

"Access to the standard observational equipment has been terminated at the source," JARVIS answered. Clint blinked at the screen for a long moment. "What about non-standard?"

"Sir?"

"JARVIS did Tony install a secondary camera system?" Clint asked curiously.

"He did, sir," JARVIS confirmed. "But is is not currently online."

"Tony you beautiful paranoid asshole," Clint grinned in delight. "Tell me you can boot that baby up, buddy."

"Sir installed the cameras only to be used in situations such as this one and only with his direct authorization," JARVIS informed. "He felt you and Agent Romanov in particular would not take kindly to being spied upon."

"Darn considerate of him," Clint sighed. "So you don't have the passcode?"

"No sir," JARVIS confirmed.

"Did Tony record the password anywhere?" Clint asked. "A tablet? the refrigerator? A post-it note?"

"I am uncertain," JARVIS seemed to consider his options for a moment as Clint stared at the readings. Ross was good, Clint would give him that. Maybe too good, in fact, definitely too good. This was definitely Captain America, Iron Man level of tactical thinking. And that had never been Ross's MO. Whoever he was working with was definitely worth watching out for.

"Agent Barton, I am hesitant to say this, but Sir has left a recording that I was instructed to play should any member of the Avengers access this terminal in the wake of his untimely demise." Clint swore under his breath. He stared at the screen in silence for at least a minute, knots tightening in his gut.

He liked Tony. Like hell he'd ever admit it, but he did. He liked them all. What's worse, he respected them and that was just damned inconvenient. He respected Nat and Coulson, of course, he always had. He trusted them with everything. But he'd always been careful to keep that circle of trust and respect painfully small. It was easier that way.

He'd known that extending that circle to the other Avengers was going to get him in trouble one day. But worse than anything else, he _owed_ Tony, more than anyone could ever repay. And this was a damned lousy way to say thanks.

"JARVIS I'm not going to tell you what to do," Clint admitted finally. "I'm kind of afraid that if I don't try to do something soon you're going to be playing that video for me anyway. You're going to have to weigh the pros and cons and decide if you can show me. Whatever you decide, I'll respect your decision." There was a pause and then the holoscreens minimized, a video screen popping to life in front of him.

"Greetings boys and girls," Tony's image intoned sarcastically, he paused, blinking a moment. "Lady... woman... scary badass, whatever. Listen, I'd love to wax poetic but if you're looking at this I'm dead as a doornail and you are the hell out of options. I'm going to assume a massive security breech or some shit like that... and if I weren't dead I'd totally be demanding notes because there is no excuse for this! Bruce if you're not dead I'm insisting that you do something about this because this is unacceptable." Clint choked back a laugh.

"The entire tower has a secondary observations and weapons control system," Tony's image continued. "Chances are that they've taken the routers to the weapons off line but I've already engineered a way to bypass it." A schematic came up on the screen and Clint let out a whistle.

"You neurotic sonofabitch," He gaped in wonder, a smile curling his lips.

"The secondary cameras are in every single room in the tower," The video continued. "And no, I haven't been using them to spy on you Nat, don't get kinky, I'm in a stable relationship... for me. The network is entirely closed circuit to this terminal, you'll need the following passcode to activate everything." Clint stared at the screen dumbstruck. Beneath Tony's smug, smarmy visage was: Nick1$4Dick.

He let out a bark of a laugh.

"I'm sorry I'm not there to get you guys out of this," Tony stated seriously. "I'm going to go with the delusion that I did something really heroic right before this that saved all your necks. It'll make me feel better about this whole exercise in stupidity. And... you know, don't get killed or anything. Good luck, team."

Clint stared at the top of the bar for a long moment, leaning on the hells of his hands.

"Thanks Tony," he whispered finally. "you're the best." He straightened squaring his shoulders as he pulled up the secondary security interface, typing in the password. A plethora of tiny security camera images flickered to life around him and he stepped back from the bar. flinging his hand out so that the images encircled him.

"Rotate," he requested and the images began to spin slowly around him, his eyes scanning each one as he walked across the room, tapping individual feeds to double check them.

"Are you looking for something in particular, Agent Barton?" JARVIS asked as he flopped back on the couch, staring up at the video images, one hand neatly tucked beneath his head.

"An opening," Clint replied. "Don't worry JARVIS, I'll know it when I see it." He paused a moment, watching the video feed of guards patrolling the hall outside his suite.

"I'm going to need to do something nice for Tony later," he said finally.

"Do you require suggestions, sir?" the AI asked.

"No," Clint shook his head. "I'll figure it out on my own. Just... when he sees... blame this on me ok?"

"I do not regret my decision, sir," JARVIS stated firmly. "My primary directive is to protect Mr. Stark's interests, I feel his continued survival was served by my actions."

"I sure hope he feels the same way," Clint nodded in agreement.

* * *

"Any luck?" Pepper asked with a sigh, sitting back on the black marble retaining wall and gazing up at Avengers tower, the yellow glow that surrounded it swathing her face in a sickly light. Getting from Central Park to Grand Central Terminal had proved a bit more difficult than they'd planned. Pepper had finally used her AmEx card to bribe a taxi driver with broken English who both Phil and Betty were at least suspicious might be a threat to national security based on some of the paraphernalia he had dumped in the front seat.

They'd ended up walking the last couple of blocks anyway, not even money could get some people near a scary glowing skyscraper. The restaurant on the other side of Vanderbilt had already been shuttered despite the fact it was barely after midnight and unable to get any closer they'd made camp along the shop front, sprawling out on the marble sills lighted by the very threatening forcefield that stretched into the sky overhead.

"I can't get a solid connection," Phil stated with a frown, tapping at his tablet, his stance was relaxed, his shoulders holding their normal, easy set, but the taps of his fingertips against the glass of the tablet were sharp and aggressive.

"Is there like a way for normal almost-Avenger people to get into SHIELD hacking classes?" Darcy asked curiously, stretching out on the wall and picking at the leaves of one of the ferns in the planter box. Pepper gave her an indulgent look as Natasha struggled not to laugh. "Because I download a crap ton of shōnen-ai and k-pop and I need to know how to cover that stuff up."

"No one at SHIELD is going to teach you how to get cartoon porn," Jane rolled her eyes, pulling her knees to her chest as she sat on the wall beside Betty.

"Anime is an art form," Darcy shot back with a dark glower.

"Baby, I've seen enough Hentai to know where that's going," Natasha shook her head in amusement.

"This might be a lost battle," Phil admitted with a sigh. "Every time I make progress the shield modulates and my connection stutters out. Then I have to start over."

"So we need to be inside to do this," Pepper stated frustration tugging at her expression. "but we have to do this to get inside."

"Out of curiosity, how did you know?" Natasha asked tilting her head demurely as she looked up at Jane.

"How did I know what?" Jane asked blinking at her blankly.

"When Coulson said there was nothing to worry about and the Avengers had already assembled," Natasha stated, leaning easily against the retaining wall on her elbows. "You told him you didn't believe him. Coulson's delivery is usually flawless, no one ever sees though him."

"Don't read too much into it Agent Romanov," Phil stated drily, scowling in frustration at his tablet.

"Coulson's believable because he lacks menacing characteristics," Natasha observed. "he doesn't stand out, he's reasonably likable and reasonably forgettable. It's his ace in the hole. No one expects him to be duplicitous because he looks so average, so nonthreatening. But you didn't believe him. So I want to know why."

"Well it was the cell phones mostly," Jane shrugged.

"What about the cell phones?" Betty asked curiously.

"We were talking about the telescope transmissions last week," Jane shrugged. "And I mentioned that I was worried about data loss in the relay. Tony said not to worry about it because the whole network at SI was on a private set of satellites, that's how Iron Man works, the transmission is completely secured, the executive and Avengers phones are the only other thing on the network. So even if they had scrambled, Pepper should have been able to reach Tony." Phil looked up at her with wide eyes and Jane blinked slowly, her expression going the faintest bit dreamy.

"Ooooo," Jane murmured softly.

"Oh damn," Darcy declared, cringing. She sat up quickly, edging away from Jane as if she were a serpent about to strike.

"What?" Pepper asked, her brow furrowing.

"She has that look again," Darcy replied nervously.

"Are you thinking what I desperately hope you're thinking?" Betty asked pleadingly, her own eyes sparkling in glee.

"I think I probably am, yeah," Jane nodded excitedly. "If I can control the transmission and the wave guide?"

"I can calculate the frequency, yeah," Betty insisted.

"It's probably not going to work," Jane shook her head seriously.

"Longest shot in history," Betty agreed nodding.

"What are you two even talking about?" Natasha asked finally. Jane and Betty both giggled evilly and Darcy sighed, turning to Phil and Pepper.

"You guys got a Radio Shack around here?" she asked, popping her gum.

* * *

Steve Rogers let out a rapid, stuttering breath though gritted teeth, his face screwing up against the pain. He tried to force himself to take calming breaths, the worst of this one was over, he was on the downhill side. But it hardly helped, he'd be heading up the hill again in a moment.

The pain eased up and he gulped in a breath, and he gazed down at his thigh as the probe, the size of a watch battery worked out of the surface of his skin, rolling off, onto the exam table in a small trail of blood.

He hoped it was a probe, dear god he really didn't want to think about what they might have been trying to do to him.

It was probably the thing about his transformation that Steve had secretly coveted the most. The sort of thing that can't be explained without a common frame of reference. He had spent his whole life as a sickly child who was ill the moment someone chose to breathe on him the wrong way. Between that and the asthma he'd spent most of his life in bed, unable to breathe, frustrated and demoralized and the faintest bit humiliated as he watched the neighborhood children he barely knew play in the slush covered streets while he gazed at the snow falling through the window glass.

The serum hadn't just repaired his immune system, it had made it downright aggressive. He hadn't had so much as a sniffle since that day and for someone whose own body had so spectacularly betrayed them nearly every day of their life, that more than anything else had been exhilarating, more intoxicating than the vodka that no longer put so much as a light buzz on his brain.

He was paying for it now.

He'd told them it won't work when they'd strapped him down to the table, was ashamed to say he'd half begged as they began to shoot the probes beneath his skin, down both arms and legs, into his shoulders, they were nearly done with his spine when his immune system had attacked the first probe injected into his arm. Attacked with the viciousness of a rabid dog, tearing the probe free of his flesh and forcing it out of his body.

He'd managed to not get angry right up to the point where the technicians acted surprised.

When it was clear their experiment had been a spectacular failure they'd shrugged collectively, albeit a bit nervously, undoubtably at what Ross was going to say about it. Then they sedated him and left.

Of course the sedation didn't work. It never worked. Ten minutes later he awoke as his body had set to work rejecting the next probe. That had been over an hour ago and no one had bothered to be back to check on him.

He could feel the next probe tearing free of the muscle near his knee and he bit back a shout, sweat dampening his brow. He was fairly certain he was incapable of dying of shock, he wasn't as confident about blood loss. Some of the earlier rejection sites had begun to heal, but the majority were still open and bleeding. He gritted his teeth again, struggling to breathe. He hadn't struggled to breathe since the crash. What was it going to be like when it came to the ones on his back?

"No," he hissed out, tears stinging his eyes. "No, focus. Don't think about that."

He wasn't the vindictive sort, he really wasn't, but for the first time in his life he kind of hoped Tony or Phil or maybe Widow would be the ones to find him like this. Because there would be an unholy ass-kicking to follow that only Bucky Barns had ever previously mounted in his defense. It wasn't much comfort as the probe surfaced, but it was all he had at the moment, really.

The probe rolled away, hitting the floor with a clink and he turned his head, trying to mop his brow on the exam table over. Whatever was holding him in place here hadn't been nearly so aggressive but he was too weak now to try to take advantage of it. His eyes fell on the equipment tray and he let out a hollow laugh.

The injection gun said 'Hammer Industries'. Tony was going to be thrilled.


	6. How to win friends and blow crap up

**6. How to win friends and blow crap up.**

"At least Jane was not here," Thor said with a sigh. They'd been hanging on the wall like bad modern art for what seemed like hours now, long enough for Tony's hands to go a bit numb and for a couple of really good panic attacks. For a guy who never let anything ruffle his feathers, Thor had taken it surprisingly well, even making the effort to ground Tony with the sound of his voice. Tony had been grateful, especially for the fact that Thor had not said a word about it once Tony managed to catch his breath again.

"Yeah, the good news today is our best girls are probably about a hundred miles from here right now," Tony nodded in agreement. "I wouldn't put it past Coulson to make the helicarrier land in Central park to pick them up."

"How long do you think it will take Natasha to attempt a rescue?" Thor asked with a worried frown.

"Well the side of my brain that controls scientific discovery, alcohol and really stupid ideas says she's here in the building already," Tony replied. Thor considered this information a moment.

"Do you have a practical side?" he questioned curiously. Tony let out a laugh.

"No," Tony admitted. "but if I did, it would be saying Pepper's on the helicarrier right now trying to stop Fury from blowing the entire building off the island.

"You do not believe he would actually do that," It was a statement, not a question.

"No," Tony agreed with a sigh. "I don't. I might not like the guy much but he's not a complete asshole. If he makes that call it's because it's the only way to save lives. Not like it matters, unless Nat comes through for us pretty soon, we're all going to die here."

"She will come," Thor insisted. "I have escaped worse than this unscathed."

"The last time I escaped worse than this, a car battery was attached to my chest," Tony stated irritably.

"Do not think about that," Thor stated, his tone serious.

"When I get out of here Cap and Bruce had better still be alive or I'm going to break Ross in half with my bare hands," Tony stated malevolently.

"Much better," Thor gave a satisfied smirk. "I would offer to hold him for you, but I do not believe you require my assistance." Tony laughed outright at that, the undercurrent of anxiety he was fighting momentarily easing.

"He implied that we have a traitor among us," Thor observed with a dark frown.

"Yeah, I'm pretty certain he was winding us up," Tony considered.

"I hope you are correct," Thor stated in a tone that implied he was not nearly so confident.

Tony glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. What he wasn't going to say out loud was what he'd already known before Ross had ever entered the room; There was a breech somewhere, and he'd better find out where before it was too late for all of them.

* * *

"Am I going to get arrested?" Darcy asked, her brow knitted in worry as she pushed her glasses up her nose. "I know it's a bad time to ask and all, but I really can't get arrested."

"It's not actually as bad as you think," Natasha assured, carefully stripping wires.

"It's not that," Darcy shook her head, looking up at Pepper. "My first day Tony said to me: Just whatever you do, Lewis, don't get arrested. That's the only thing he asked of me, and when the owner of the company you work for asks you to do something you do it, it's just rude otherwise."

"The CEO asked you to break into a Radio Shack and steal a satellite dish," Betty pointed out, bolting said dish in place on the mounting rig they were constructing. "You didn't see the conflict of interest at the time?"

"I sort of flunked ethics," Darcy admitted. "The second time I took it I had to download the test answers."

"Poly-sci majors, ladies and gentlemen," Jane announced with a grin, waving her wrench.

"Breaking in was not my idea, ok!" Darcy stated forcefully.

"You don't have anything to worry about," Phil answered indulgently. "I left a nice itemized list of everything we took."

"And I wrote them a check with a bonus to upgrade their security system," Pepper added.

"Isn't that going to make it harder to break into that particular Radio Shack next time?" Darcy asked Natasha worriedly. "It's pretty conveniently located."

"I'm not concerned," she shrugged, screwing the wire nuts tight.

"What makes you think there'll be a next time?" Betty asked with a frown.

"Don't get me wrong," Darcy shook her head as she screwed the last breaker in place. "I don't want to do anything like this ever again as long as I live. But I'm realistic. You don't keep an unauthorized dog in your apartment and expect to get your security deposit back and you don't room with super heroes and not blow crap up."

"It's good you learned something useful in college," Natasha nodded in approval.

"What are we doing exactly?" Pepper asked, taking the wires Natasha had just finished stripping and soldering them down to the mother board.

"It's pretty simple really," Jane answered, ratcheting a keyboard down on the the side of the rig.

"If you have an IQ over 150," Darcy added with a shrug

"Cell phones are just really really small radio transmitters," Jane continued. "bouncing microwaves back and forth between base stations."

"Microwaves like... make me some popcorn?" Darcy asked, looking up at her. Jane nodded. "Oh My God! I'm nuking my brain!"

"Easy, grasshopper," Natasha smirked. "it's a very tiny amount of radiation."

"Normally, yes, it's a very tiny amount of radiation," Betty nodded in agreement, moving in front of the keyboard and beginning to type as Jane took the soldering iron from Pepper and attached the mother board to their makeshift computer case.

"I'm a bit unsettled by your use of the word 'normally' in that sentence," Phil admitted.

"Keep your tablet handy and be ready to hack," Jane insisted, patting him on the shoulder and passing the soldering iron back to Pepper.

"You see that big ugly forcefield, apart from giving off static discharge that'll burn the skin off your fingers," Betty stated. "has the annoying habit of scrambling just about every signal we try to throw at it."

"What we need," Jane declared, blowing on her fingers as the mother board sparked under her touch. "is to punch a nice size hole in it."

"With a big eff-ton of microwave radiation?" Darcy gaped at her. "Am I going to get cancer?"

"Probably not," Betty shook her head. "Natasha, I'm going to need to borrow your phone." Natasha held out her cell phone and Betty pulled a pin from her hair, jamming it in the sim card release.

"Here, attach that," Jane declared, handing Pepper a rack of RAM sticks.

"You're very good at that," Phil observed, leaning over her shoulder.

"I was Tony's PA for a long time," Pepper replied with a light shrug.

"If this works, you'll only have a couple of minutes," Betty sighed, "So, be ready to do your hacker thing."

"A couple of minutes won't be enough time to activate the EMP," Phil insisted.

"It'll have to be plan B then," Natasha stated.

"No pressure," Darcy gave Phil a grin and he shook his head with a sigh, scowling at his tablet as he typed.

"I think we're good here," Pepper said, blowing on the solder and dusting off her hands.

"How does it look, Betty?" Jane asked, leaning over her shoulder.

"I think we're about ready," She nodded, looking up at the tower. "Everybody take cover."

"Is it going to blow up?" Darcy asked as Natasha grasped her arm, hustling her under the cover of the entry of the restaurant.

"Probably, yeah," Natasha stated practically, making room for Pepper as she forced Darcy to crouch down behind the retaining wall.

"Good luck, Doctor," Jane stated, holding a hand out to Betty. She gave it one firm shake with a grim smile.

"You too," she replied. Jane took a half step closer to her, hunching her shoulders and covering her ears with her hands.

"Ready, Phil?" Betty asked.

"Let's hope so," He nodded.

"I really hope this works," Jane said, trying not to cringe.

"Yeah, me too," Betty nodded. "Everyone duck and cover!" She tapped out a sequence on the keyboard and the rig hummed to life. She cringed, wincing at the thrumming sound that emanated from the dish and Darcy peered over the edge of the retaining wall as Natasha stepped in front of Pepper protectively.

Like a bolt of lightening a shaft of blue light shot out of the dish, slamming into the forcefield surrounding the tower with a loud crack.

"It's not working!" Jane shouted over the thrum of radiation.

"It'll work!" Betty insisted, her hands flying over the keyboard. "Come on, work." A low surge, like feedback through an amplifier, rattled the windows and the beam stuttered before remodulating with a boom that sent a sonic wave across the street. Glass shattered along the first floor of stark tower, littering the sidewalk cafe in a mass of shards as the forcefield receded in a gaping hole.

"Two minutes!" Jane reminded, gritting her teeth against the sound that rattled the pavement beneath their feet. Phil's fingers flew over the tablet in frantic strokes, his brow creased in tension.

"I think I've almost got it!" he stated finally. The rig gave another wail of feedback and Betty grasped the keyboard.

"We're out of time!" She warned. Sparks flew off the the circuit boards and Jane let out a squeak as it caught fire. She grasped up a compressed air can, shooting back the flames.

"Phil it's going to blow!" Betty shouted in warning over the shriek of protesting technology. Darcy cowered down behind the retaining wall, covering her head as Natasha pulled Pepper closer, the three of them trying to make themselves as small as possible.

"One more minute!" he answered.

"No more minutes!" Jane insisted, grabbing Betty's arm and trying to pull her away. The other woman stood her ground, frantically trying to keep the system stable.

"Got it!" Phil declared with fiendish satisfaction. The boom that enveloped the rig was so strong the sound waves were visible as they rolled out, shattering the restaurant windows. Phil made a dive for the pavement just as Jane gave Betty one final forceful tug and the pair landed in a huddled heap at the base of the retaining wall as the rig exploded in a cascade of fire.

Phil looked up at the tower, gritting his teeth tensely. A moment later the forcefield began to flicker.

"Go! Go go go!" He shouted, scrambling up and running across the street. Natasha was on her feet a second later, grasping both Pepper and Darcy and shoving them after him before hustling Jane and Betty along as well.

The field flickered again and Phil made a dive through it cursing as his shoulder was singed. Pepper Jane and Betty made the next one as Darcy slid up short.

"Are you kidding me!?" She demanded looking up at Natasha with wide eyes. Widow only grasped her by the scruff, tossing her though the next gap and following an instant later.

"Ow!" Darcy whined, rubbing her arm as she huddled on the glass strewn floor, her knees to her chest. "Damn it! That stings!"

"We need to get cover," Phil stated practically, checking his tablet. The trip through the forcefield had singed the casing a little but it seemed to still be functional. "They'll have the power back to 100% in no time and then they'll come looking for the breech."

"I think I know a way in through the Cafe kitchens," Natasha nodded in agreement. "Anyone injured?"

"I think I'm deaf," Betty stated, shaking her head slightly. "I'm pretty sure it's temporary."

"Don't expect us to talk loudly," Natasha answered, her expression as close to sympathetic as it ever came. Betty nodded in grudging agreement. "Anybody else?"

"Couple of electrical burns," Jane sighed. "Nothing serious, I think we're all ok."

"I am never doing that again," Pepper declared flatly.

"I think my iPod got toasted!" Darcy groaned, clutching it in both hands and looking as if her best friend had just died.

"I'll tell Stark he has to make you a brand new one, baby," Natasha soothed, dragging her to her feet. "With an AI and the ability to access the Korean top 40 charts."

"Really?" Darcy looked up at her hopefully.

"You deserve it," Natasha observed. "Come on team, lets get us some bad guys."

* * *

Bruce fought back the urge to be sick, his shaky breaths an attempt to control his transformation as much as his pitching, rolling stomach. He wasn't even certain what Sterns was trying to do to him but the eighth or ninth injection had triggered his pain response. Whatever technology was keeping him immobile was definitely suppressing the transformation as well. He had made it half way at least three times now, each time the pain so excruciating that he came back to himself heaving. He wasn't eager for a repeat any time soon but his exhaustion was wearing away at his control.

"Come to see my latest project, General?" Sterns voice murmured and Bruce felt himself shiver.

"Your progress report is past due," Ross clipped, his tone on the verge of condescension.

"These things can't be rushed," Sterns replied. "A fact your boys have already proved with that little super soldier of yours." Bruce opened his eyes to bare slits, just enough to see the stunned look on Ross's face.

"How did you..."

"Don't be insulting, General," Sterns declared. "You're a fool if you think your little experiment would go unnoticed by someone like me. I trust you're prepared to do things my way now?"

"What did you do to Rogers?" Bruce demanded, gritting his teeth.

"He wasted time and resources," Sterns answered derisively. "And he nearly lost me a test subject."

"It's none of your concern," Ross snapped.

"If you've hurt any of them," Bruce stated, his brow furrowed. "I'm not taking responsibility for what I do to you when I get out of here."

"Your lose cannon days are over Banner," Ross declared with contempt. "We're not letting you run free to carve a path of destruction in your wake."

"If you're planning on killing me, good luck with that," Bruce stated sincerely.

"I'm not about to let anything happen to my favorite new toy," Sterns replied with a thin lipped smile. "Do feel free to stick around, General, we're about to begin the test faze and you know how I love an audience. Ross took two subconscious steps back and Bruce tensed.

"Just relax, Bruce," Sterns advised. "and let sharper minds take the wheel." Sterns tapped at his tablet and to Bruce's surprise his right arm was suddenly free, he jerked it off the table reflexively, curling his fingers in a fist.

"Ah ah," Sterns scolded, his fingers brushing over his tablet. Bruce's hand froze in mid air, his fingers slowly uncurling against his will.

"What?" he gasped out, watching as each one unfurled individually before curling back into his palm.

"Deep, even breaths, Bruce," Sterns advised soothingly. "You don't want to transform again, do you?" Bruce watched in horror as his wrist turned.

"Howdy-do, General," Sterns declared in smug amusement as Bruce's fingers waved idly in Ross' direction.

"Very amusing," Ross replied. Sterns tapped out a sequence on the tablet and Bruce's hand fell the the exam table, completely powerless.

"What have you done to me?" he demanded in revulsion.

"We declawed you," Ross spat out.

"_I_ declawed him," Sterns corrected. "And I'll thank you kindly not to go messing about with my pets again."

"How soon?" Ross demanded.

"General," Sterns scoffed lightly.

"We cannot old this position forever," Ross insisted angrily. "How soon?"

"A few hours more at most," Sterns placated. "I want to be sure." Ross nodded.

"The Avengers will stop you," Bruce spat out.

"The Avengers are already in my custody," Ross declared. "Where they've belonged all along. Where any sensible person would want a pack of monsters, tightly reigned in before they destroy everything."

"You're an idiot," Bruce observed. "The most sensible person I've ever known wouldn't agree with you in the slightest."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," Ross gave him a vindictive smile and Bruce stared back at him with a creeping terror clawing its way up inside of him.

"What are you talking about?" Bruce hissed out.

"How do you think we managed to get in here?" Ross's self-satisfied expression bordered on evil. "You don't honestly think the top floor of Stark tower is a place you just waltz into. I had inside assistance."

"Who?" Bruce demanded, tamping down his anger. It wasn't possible, it just wasn't.

"I think you know who," Ross taunted. "It wasn't even difficult for someone so... sensible."

"I don't believe you," Bruce ground out.

"General, you're upsetting my favorite new toy," Sterns scolded lightly. "Off you trot, world domination awaits." Ross shot him a withering look before spinning on his heel.

"The Avengers aren't coming," Ross threw over his shoulder. "Neither is SHIELD. There's no one left who cares, get used to it Banner." Bruce stared at the door, his chest heaving, his eyes clouding green with anger.

"Well that was fun, wasn't it?" Sterns declared in delight. "We'll have to do that again soon."

"I'm not going to let you do this," Bruce hissed.

"My dear Mr. Green," Sterns gave him a smile that would have been warm if it weren't so terrifying on his face. "Of course you are, you haven't any choice."

* * *

**Notes:**

Phil is a world class hacker and no one seems to appreciate that fact. The man walks into Stark Tower and compromises JARVIS in the span of a couple of minutes. JARVIS, the most advance AI on the entire planet and Phil plows right though his firewalls with a cell phone and a disinterested expression without even breaking a sweat. The man is an effing genius. I'm not sure anyone knows what his job at SHIELD actually entails but if he's not engaged in some form of cyber-warfare at least a couple of days a week it is a damn waste of resources.

_And a Bit About Sterns:_

Even if you've seen the 2008 The Incredible Hulk you might not be familiar with who Dr. Samuel Sterns is. Sterns attempts to help Bruce control his transformation into the Hulk, however his motivations aren't entirely pure and his naive experiments with Bruce's blood lead to him being exposed. The Gamma radiation that turns Bruce into a Rage Monster, turns Sterns into a Genius Monster dubbed 'Leader'.

I read Hulk comics back in the 70's and 80's as a kid and that's the version of Sterns I've decided to portray; brilliant, diabolical and frighteningly unhinged. Some day we might see Leader on screen but until we do, I'll be sticking to the Sterns whose calculating cruelty so terrified me as a child. I hope you're enjoying him as much as I am.


	7. Actions speak louder than code words

**7. Actions speak louder than code words.**

"Bruce, where the hell are you?" Clint grumbled, flicking through the security camera feeds in frustration. Over his head an image of Tony and Thor in the rec room hovered. Beside it, one of Steve in one of the lower labs. Clint wasn't at all ashamed to say that he had kind of lost it when he'd found that one. He kept glancing up at it, eyeing Rogers to be sure he was still breathing. His first instinct had been to crawl back into the vents and try to bust though the lockdowns on sixty-eight but he hadn't been able to get through so far and there was nothing he could do for Steve now even if he did. He glanced at the screen again, gritting his teeth. The worst appeared to be over, he needed a way to get Steve out of that lab before they decided to experiment on him again.

"JARVIS," he asked finally. "Are any of the labs equipped to handle Gamma radiation?"

"Most of the labs are equipped with the necessary failsafes, sir," JARVIS replied.

"Tony Stark doesn't do anything half way," Clint sighed. "Maybe I'm going about this wrong. Jarvis, arrange these feeds by floor for me." The holoprojections slid into a columnar view, The rec room and the lab Steve occupied arranging themselves slightly to the right near the top.

"So Bruce would have to be above floor fifty, that's where R&D starts," Clint observed, taking the bottom forty-nine floors and moving them off to the side. "and below sixty-six, because that's Tony's lab, and he's not there." He pushed the upper floors to the opposite side, He grasped the remaining feeds, expanding them.

"Cap's on sixty-two, so probably not there." Clint reasoned, pushing that feed aside as well, checking it once more. Steve looked pale and haggard, still bleeding from open wounds. It made Clint's skin crawl. He let out a huff as he looked at the remaining video feeds. "JARVIS, I don't suppose you can bring up the lights in the lab on Sixty-four."

"I'm afraid my access to that floor has been terminated," The AI answered.

"It's awfully dark in there," Clint observed, grasping the video feed and expanding it. "No light's coming in from the hall."

"I believe the containment doors are down in that particular lab," JARVIS stated.

"You don't say," Clint mused. "JARVIS, shouldn't the infrared have come online?"

"Yes sir," JARVIS confirmed.

"So either it's malfunctioning or something in that lab is scrambling the camera." Clint stated.

"Considering the activities that generally take place in that section of the labs I cannot discount either," JARVIS remarked. Clint let out a snort of amusement.

"Jay, can you get me the power outputs by floor?"

"Certainly, sir." The resource distribution interface came online and Clint gave a smug smile.

"They're using a awful lot of power on sixty-four tonight, aren't they?" he observed.

"So it would seem," JARVIS agreed.

"That's where our boy Banner is," Clint stated in satisfaction. It was short lived, however, his brow creasing in a scowl. "So now the big question is; what do I do about it?" He rubbed his forehead with a sigh. Tony and Thor were immobile, Steve desperately needed a doctor, or at the very least a couple of bandaids, Bruce was undoubtably a guinea pig, and he was trapped in the most pretentious penthouse in Manhattan, if not the world.

"This is not the Avengers' finest moment," he observed with a heartsick sigh. He was so busy being frustrated that he almost didn't notice the flash of movement out of the corner of his eye.

"What the hell?" He blinked, reaching out and expanding the video feed. "Is that the service elevator behind the lobby?"

"Indeed it is, sir," JARVIS confirmed.

"Get the other cameras, quick!" he ordered. almost instantly three more cameras slid to join the first and he let out a laugh, a figure in red was tearing through the lobby like a blur, taking out the pair of guards before they were probably even aware they were under attack.

"Nat I love you!" He declared, a wide grin spreading over his face. "JARVIS, I need to communicate with the lobby!"

"All phone lines are down." The AI replied.

"What about a bluetooth device?" Clint demanded, pulling up the resource statistics again. "A phone speaker, anything."

"All wireless transmission are being scrambled," JARVIS reminded in exasperation. "All digital communication relays have been shut down, destroyed or otherwise taken off line."

"There has to be a way," Clint insisted angrily. "Maybe we can hack into a terminal or..." His voice trailed off as he stared at the screen in dumbfounded silence.

"JARVIS what is this?" Clint gaped at the holoscreen, pointing at it in wonder.

"That is a four wire, analogue..."

"I know what it is, JARVIS," Clint sighed in exasperation. "What is it doing here?"

"The system was custom engineered by Mr. Howard Stark and originally installed when the building was constructed in 1962." JARVIS stated. "It was designed to utilize the existing solid medium telecommunications lines. When Sir acquired the building he left the original equipment in place."

"So you're telling me every land line phone in this building is an intercom?" Clint asked, gaping.

"Yes sir," JARVIS answered.

"Is the analogue relay system still functional?" he asked, his eyes sparkling brightly.

"As I have no way of communicating with such a device I am uncertain," JARVIS replied.

"Is there a landline phone on this floor?" Clint asked excitedly.

"In the cabinet beside Mr. Stark's bed, Agent Barton," JARVIS replied. Clint turned on his heel, running full speed toward the bedroom door and diving onto the bed. "The line is not secure sir, anyone in the building might intercept it."

"Got that, Jay!" Clint declared, wrenching the cabinet door open and picking up the receiver. He stared at the phone blankly for a moment. "How do these things even work?"

"Dial 001 for the lobby sir," JARVIS informed. Clint jammed the buttons and rolled over on his back, looking up at the holographic projection of the lobby, his lips curling in a grin as the phone began to ring.

* * *

Steve was definitely in shock. He was a little disturbed that he found that thought comforting as he shivered uncontrollably on the lab table. If he was in shock it meant he wasn't crazy. He needed to not be going crazy. His team needed him to not be going crazy.

He needed to sleep.

No he couldn't sleep. He'd be stone dead if he slept now and he couldn't die, he had to rescue his team. He looked down at the wounds on his legs still seeping blood. The ones on his arms had mostly begun to heal. He didn't want to think about the ones on his spine but he could feel the unmistakable stickiness of blood on the back of his neck. He was so tired. So tired and so cold. But that was the shock, it was definitely just shock. He needed to keep his eyes open.

He'd kind of hoped he'd never see Ross again. As much for Banner's sake as his own but he'd admit that there was a selfish motivation there too. He'd never told his team, he wanted to believe that it was because Fury marked the incident classified but that wasn't really it. He wasn't ashamed, well maybe at the time he'd been a little ashamed that Tony knew, that Tony had been the one to get him out. He wasn't now. He just didn't want them to feel like they had to protect him. He didn't want them to feel responsible for him the same way they did for Bruce. Which, if you stopped and thought about it was kind of insane.

He was rambling, that was a sure sign of shock. He was so tired. He'd better not think about that, he should think about something else.

Someone had sold them out. Maybe that wasn't the most helpful thing to think about. Tony hadn't looked surprised. Tony had a fantastic poker face but Steve had learned to read him a bit by now and he was sure Tony hadn't been surprised. That meant Tony had already suspected that someone had betrayed them. He didn't like that thought. He didn't have any idea what to do with it.

He really needed to sleep. It was getting harder to keep his eyes open without the pain to ground him. Maybe if he closed his eyes for a moment. Five minutes rest and he'd be good, he'd be great. He'd be ready to think about how he was going to get out of here and save the only friends he had left in the world.

Just five minutes.

* * *

"That was incredible!" Darcy declared, wide eyed as Natasha rose slowly to her feet, one of the guards twitching on the ground in front of her.

"Show off," Phil stated, a soft smile curling his lips as he crossed the lobby, his handgun drawn as he checked the front door. Natasha gave him both an eye roll and an indulgent look.

"What next?" Betty asked as she and Jane zip-tied the wrists of the guards.

"We try to get as much intelligence as we can about who's here and what they're up to," Pepper declared. Darcy flopped in one of the chairs behind the receptionists' desk with a sigh, propping her heels up on the counter as Natasha carefully returned her array of weapons to their customary hiding places.

"Agreed," Phil nodded, turning back to them. "We need to keep moving and stay under the radar. We have no idea who's here or what they want. Our first priority should be to try to locate the other Avengers."

"It'd go faster if we split up, I suppose." Pepper observed hesitantly.

"Not a good idea," Phill shook his head.

"We don't have any form of communication," Natasha insisted practically.

The telephone on the reception desk rang.

"Well, that's ominous," Darcy declared, staring at it nervously. No one moved. Natasha met Phil's eye and he shrugged.

"It shouldn't be ringing," he stated. Natasha strode across the lobby, picking up the phone.

"This better be you, Stark," she said flatly.

"Sorry to disappoint you, Flynn," Clint fairly crowed with delight, his bright smile evident in his tone. Natasha's eyes widened in surprise and she drew in a startled breath. She mouthed Clint's name and Phil gave her a shocked look.

"Merida, are the others with you?" she asked, hurrying around the desk and pressing the speaker button.

"Just me and HAL," Clint sighed. "You're a sight for sore eyes."

"You're watching us on the security cameras," Natasha stated.

"Yep!" Clint declared.

"Agent, where are you?" Phil asked, leaning over the reception counter.

"Tony Stark's bed," he answered. "and there's a phrase I thought I'd never say."

"Don't feel too special," Pepper pointed out practically, "Everyone's been there."

"Ouch, burn," Darcy declared with a grin, spinning the desk chair in lazy circles.

"It's kind of a very posh fortress and I'm spectacularly stuck here." Clint sighed.

"Do you know what happened to the rest of the princesses?" Natasha asked. The others gave her odd looks that she ignored.

"Mulan and Ariel are hanging out in the rec room, literally," Clint replied. "Aurora was entertaining the house guests on sixty-two. I'm not sure about Fiona." Darcy clapped a hand over her mouth, tipping over sideways in the receptionists' chair as she struggled to stifle her laughter.

"Do we know which villain's storming the castle?" Natasha asked. There was a long pause and she bit her lip.

"Lord Farquaad," he said finally. Natasha let out a string of curses in Russian.

"We have to find Banner," she whispered. "Now."

"Do you have any idea what they'd want with Aurora?" Clint asked worriedly. "He's not looking too good." Natasha paused a long moment.

"No," she shook her head. She took a deep breath, covering the speaker with her hand. "General Ross has Rogers in a lab on sixty-two."

"Oh my god," Betty declared, covering her mouth with her hand.

"What about Tony?" Pepper demanded.

"He and Thor are locked up in the TV room," Darcy stated, popping her gum. Pepper blinked at her but she only shrugged.

"Do you know what they'd want with Rogers?" Natasha asked, pinning Phil with her gaze.

"I've got an idea," Phil admitted with a sick expression. "Does he have any idea where they're holding Banner?"

"If there's anything you can tell us about Fiona," she began, uncovering the phone.

"I'm not completely sure," Clint said hesitantly," but my best guess is a secured lab on sixty-four. I can't see in, but there's a lot of power usage there."

"That's a safe bet," She agreed. "Any chance you can get to the mermaid and friend?"

"I can't get any lower than sixty-eight," he admitted. "I made a dick move trying to spring the rest of the Disney cast and I got stuck up here. Everything's all pear shaped, security bulkheads are down in places they shouldn't be, there's weapons and restraining devices I've never seen before. It's not Farquaad's normal game plan, someone on his team is a serious power player."

"Great, something new to worry about," Natasha sighed.

"If we could get the forcefield down we could get SHIELD in here," Clint stated.

"No we can't," Phil corrected. "They're in the same boat." Clint mumbled out a curse.

Anyone got any bright ideas?" he asked.

"Ocean-13," Pepper stated firmly.

"That has been the request of the day, Ma'am," JARVIS' voice cut in with a perturbed tone. "I am, however, unable to access the necessary power."

"What's Ocean-13?" Jane asked curiously.

"Oh! I know! I know!" Darcy raised her hand, bouncing in the chair.

"It's the EMP protocol," Phil whispered with a knowing look. Darcy grinned delightedly as Pepper nodded an affirmative.

"There's one more thing, Flynn," Clint stated, there was a long pause and Natasha's brow furrowed in worry. "I think we might have a Megara." The shift in Natasha's shoulders was almost invisible as she stared back at the phone unmoving.

"What?" Darcy demanded after a moment, her brain suddenly catching up to the code as the others stared in dumbfounded silence. "Is he crazy?" Natasha made a grab for the phone, pressing the receiver to her ear.

"Barton are you crazy?" Darcy demanded angrily, hopping out of the chair and half crawling onto the desk to reach Natasha's ear. "Are you screwing with us? Because if you are, it's not funny and I am going to kick your damn ass!" Natasha grasped her by the collar of her jacket, holding her out at arms length as Darcy glared at the phone like an angry kitten.

"No," Natasha stated, her eye shifting carefully from Darcy to Jane and Betty who wore worried if confused expression. "No." she repeated.

"I don't really believe it either," Clint insisted. "But I've been listening in. Farquaad had help." Natasha hissed out a curse.

"Find out," she demanded.

"Understood," Clint replied. "Just... be careful."

"I hate to interrupt," Phil stated. "But we're on the clock." Natasha let out a sigh, nodding as she released her hold on Darcy.

"Any chance you have a plan?" Natasha asked.

"Maybe," Clint offered. "You're not going to like it."

"Story of my day," she shrugged. "Let's have it."


	8. You can pick your friends,

**8. You can pick your friends but you can't pick your enemy's targets. **

The electronic deadbolt lock on the door began to glow, softly at first and then red-hot and then white, with a sizzle and a pop it melted free of the door, clattering to the floor and singeing the industrial tile as the door marked SE-66 swung slowly open.

"It's all clear," Phil declared, motioning them out into the corridor. Betty and Jane hurried out of the stairwell, making their way cautiously down the darkened corridor, Phil covering them. Jane rushed to the fire extinguisher, opening the safety panel and pulling out the phone.

"Ok, we're here," she declared breathlessly.

"Looks like you don't have any company," Clint answered assuringly. Jane gave a nod to Betty and Phil and Betty strode to the door across the hall, punching in the access code. "I'm not picking up anything on the security feeds."

"How are we doing?" Phil asked, taking the phone from Jane as she rushed to help Betty.

"So far so good," Clint replied. "Team Two is on their way into position. You know sir, I think when this is all over, I'm going to have to buy you a drink. I never appreciated what a difficult job you have."

"It's been an honor, Agent," Phil assured.

"Yes sir," Clint agreed, swallowing thickly. "You need to have your next location primed in five minutes." Phil drew the phone away from his ear, pressing it to his shoulder.

"How's it coming?" He asked. Jane scurried to Tony's lab door, punching in her access code. The door slid open and she sighed in relief.

"My code works on lockdown," she answered. "We just need a few more minutes to collect everything."

"I'm going up to seventy to prep the door," Phil stated. "It'll be ready to go when you get there. Hurry as fast as you can."

"You're going to leave us here by ourselves?" Jane asked in horror as Betty emerged with a pair of duffles, handing them both to Phil before heading into Tony's lab with a determined expression.

"We'll manage," She insisted. "Go ahead, Phil." He nodded, returning the phone to his ear.

"Barton can keep an eye on you," he reminded.

"Just tell them not to throw any wild parties!" Barton's amused voice declared over the intercom. Phil hid a smile before hanging up the phone, giving Jane a reassuring look.

"Ring in to Barton as soon as you make your position," He instructed. She sighed, nodding before following after Betty.

The lab looked like a bomb had gone off, a fact that made Jane monumentally relieved as she paused a moment to watch Betty loading another duffle with items from Tony's work table. If the place was this much of a mess it was likely no one had been in here since Tony last called it a day.

"Are you... okay?" Jane asked uneasily.

"I'm fine," Betty insisted. "Dummy, where did Tony leave the latest version of the repulser upgrades?" The bot let out a whirling sound before rolling haphazardly across the floor toward one of the fabrication units.

"I know it's a stupid plan," Jane insisted, collecting tools from one of the work stations. "I get that, but it's going to be ok, really. I know you're worried, I am too, but we just need to hang in there and it'll be fine. Bruce will be fine." Betty froze, her fingers curling slowly around the repulser kit Dummy was holding out to her.

"You don't know, do you?" she said finally. Jane set the bag she was filling on the workbench and slowly crossed the lab, closing the distance between them.

"What do you mean?" Jane asked hesitantly.

"I guess it went by a bit fast, didn't it?" Betty remarked. "With all that secret agent stuff. I thought... well SHIELD has a file on me."

"I don't work for SHIELD," Jane reminded.

"I guess I kind of assumed Tony would have told you," Betty sighed, running her hands gently over the repulser casing.

"He told me you and Bruce were close... before..." Jane's voice trailed off uncomfortably. "That was all he said. I mean, I'm sure it's complicated and I don't really know either of you that well..."

"General Ross," Betty stated, drawing in a deep unsteady breath as Jane nodded. "He's my father."

"Oh my god," Jane looked as if she might be sick.

"I haven't spoken to him in years," Betty insisted. "In _years_! I was so angry over everything he did to Bruce. And now..." She looked up at Jane with a wounded expression.

"It's okay," Jane insisted. "I believe you. It's fine."

"You know what this looks like?" Betty continued. "I just got here a couple of weeks ago and now."

"We are going to straighten this out," Jane insisted vehemently. "Butterfingers, did Tony finish those detonator packs? Come on, we don't have time to waste." Betty watched her wade across the cluttered lab for a moment before resuming packing.

* * *

"Why does Clint think one of them's a traitor?" Darcy asked, her eyes narrowed in a dangerous scowl as she looked up at Natasha, trailing in her wake as they crept cautiously down the darkened corridor.

"What?" Pepper asked, looking back over her shoulder with a dumbfounded expression. She pulled her handgun in closer to her body, gaping at Natasha as if pleading for some form of explanation.

"One of _them_?" Natasha asked with a raised brow, her own gun at the ready, she slipped past Pepper checking around the corner of the hall ahead of them, motioning them forward.

"Yes," Darcy sighed, flapping her arms slightly. "Because clearly you don't think it could possibly be me. If you did, you and me and Pepper wouldn't be prowling down a dark empty corridor together."

"I can handle one rogue element," Natasha assured in amusement.

"You can handle an alien monster invasion," Darcy rolled her eyes. "That's not the point."

"Apparently I'm missing the point," Pepper declared as they continued forward, checking the cross sections as they went.

"The point," Darcy bounced a half step behind Natasha. "is that if you thought it was me, even vaguely, I would not be anywhere near her." she waved her hand at Pepper.

"How do you figure that?" Natasha asked, the faintest hint of warning in her expression.

"Because you don't let anything dangerous near her," Darcy insisted, shifting the messenger bag she was carrying on her shoulder. "Ever." Pepper looked over her shoulder again, catching Natasha's eye with an amused expression.

"I don't question it," Darcy added, holding her hands up in surrender. "I figure you two must be bros or something."

"Call it an old habit," Natasha conceded grudgingly. Pepper flashed her a smile.

"She knows where I stand," Pepper stated, struggling not to grin outright. "We have a lot of history. It probably has something to do with the fact that SHIELD is heavily invested in keeping me CEO too."

"Yeah, that's not it," Darcy insisted.

"I trust her," Natasha admitted in a low voice that was certain not to carry. "And there aren't a lot of people I trust."

"It's cool," Darcy shrugged. "I still want to know why Clint told you there was a traitor."

"Where did you get that?" Pepper asked in bewilderment.

"My gosh, have you never seen a Disney film?" Darcy demanded. "It's so obvious it's painful!"

"He has his reasons," Natasha replied. "It's one of those things _I_ don't question. And for the record, I haven't ruled you out."

"And now I'm wondering how I'm still alive," Darcy admitted uncomfortably.

"It's possible to help the other side and never realize it," Natasha stated. There was a long pause as they continued down the hall in silence.

"I'm starting to get uncomfortable with how much I trust myself," Pepper admitted. Darcy nodded in uneasy agreement.

"There's no point in focusing on it," Natasha insisted, moving ahead a few yards to the elevator. she holstered her gun, prying open the control panel. She stared at the mass of wiring for a moment before flicking a finger at Darcy and pointing at the nearby row of workstations that ran through the main landing. Darcy dove into the nearest cubicle, picking up the phone and punching buttons.

"We're at... in position," She stated.

"Ask him if HAL has access to the security lockouts on this floor," Natasha directed.

"Got that, Jay?" Clint asked before Darcy could relay. There was a pause "Tell her to try it now."

"Did that work?" Darcy asked. Natasha shrugged, stuffing her hand in the panel and fishing around in the wiring for a moment. There was a light shower of sparks and the elevator door slid open half way.

"Let's go," she ordered, ushering them inside.

"That did it," Darcy stated. "Thanks."

"Stay safe kid," Barton instructed seriously.

"Don't be nice to me," she replied sourly. "I'm still going to kick your ass later."

"Sure you are, kid," he laughed as she hung up.

"This is dangerous, isn't it?" Darcy asked, squeezing through the door after Natasha and Pepper. "If I get shot I'm going to be really pissed, because I did not sign up to take _that_ one for the team."

"Just stay close to me and look lost and confused," Natasha insisted firmly.

"So be myself?" Darcy gave her a frustrated look as Pepper struggled not to laugh.

"Come on ladies," Pepper declared firmly as the door slid shut. "I don't know about you but I'm ready for a little workout."

* * *

Clint rearranged the video feeds for probably the tenth time in as many minutes, his eyes flicking nervously over each hovering image. He could see Nat and Darcy in the elevator, Nat carefully pulling her hair back from her face. Tony and Thor in the rec room, Betty and Jane in the lab, he was fairly sure he had a good bead on Phil's position though he wasn't stupid enough to think he'd actually catch more than a glimpse of him. Bruce was still most probably on sixty-four.

His eyes strayed to the lab on sixty-two, his stomach knotting with fresh anxiety.

"JARVIS is there any way you can get readings on Cap's condition?" He asked worriedly.

"I will do my best, sir," the AI answered. Clint stared mutely, Rogers was pasty and pale and he'd descended into tremors sharp enough for Clint to observe on the screen. It was a few moments before bioreadings flickered to life beside the video feed and he swore, grabbing for the phone.

"I'm a little busy right now, Merida," Natasha declared, picking up the elevator call phone.

"Are you in position yet?" he asked breathlessly.

"Almost," she answered and he swore under his breath. "Why?"

"Aurora needs a wakeup call," He replied, tamping down the frustration of uselessness at his current position.

"Ten minutes," Natasha insisted. "Just let me take care of the Stabbington Brothers and."

"Ten minutes is too long," Clint cut in worriedly. It was Natasha's turn to swear.

"Call Coulson," she declared.

"But," Clint wasn't used to second guessing himself. Of course he also wasn't use to having Phil's job rather than his own. He had no idea how the man did this without going completely bonkers. He'd need to ease up on his handler from here on out.

"Call Coulson," she repeated firmly. Clint drew in a shaky breath.

"Good luck," he said.

"You too," she nodded, giving a grim smile to the camera before hanging up. Clint dialed again, the phone ringing making him tense.

"We're almost ready," Jane said and he pulled up the feed to see her shoulder a bag.

"I need you to go up to the Boss's position and tell him he has to go down and pull Aurora."

"What? Why?" Jane blinked in confusion as Betty emerged from the lab. She covered the phone with her hand. "I... I think Steve's in trouble."

"Phil said we'd have to have backup before we could risk pulling him out," Betty declared, wide eyed. Jane mashed the speaker button, hanging up the phone.

"I need one of you to go up to Snow's position," Barton repeated. "tell him to pull Aurora now."

"Who came up with these code names?" Jane demanded in frustration. Betty only shrugged. Natasha had translated but she'd refused to explain further.

"What are you seeing?" Betty asked.

"Heart rate 182 bpm, BP 78/36" Clint replied.

"Shit." Betty's face contorted in an expression of genuine fear. "We're on it. Jane'll check in with you when she hits the stairwell door."

"Got it," Barton replied and the intercom fuzzed out.

"Give me one of the repulsers and a door charge," Betty declared, shoving the bag she carried into Jane's arms and zipping open the one on the shorter woman's shoulder.

"What for?" Jane demanded, shuffling both bags.

"I'm going to go down and get Steve," Betty declared, her hands trembling but determined.

"But Clint," Jane protested.

"Steve's dying," Betty stated forcefully. "I don't know what they've done to him but it's killing him. Coulson's no doctor, If he doesn't get some kind of medical treatment fast he's not going to make it."

"You could get killed," Jane squeaked.

"You'll be fine on your own," Betty promised. "I'll make sure no one can follow after me and sneak up on you."

"_You_ could get killed!" Jane repeated angrily.

"I know..." Betty stared back at her terrified for a moment before Jane wrapped both arms around her neck, hugging her tight.

"Don't die," she begged, tears stinging her eyes.

"I'll do my best," Betty promised. "Go kick some ass." She turned on her heel running down the corridor toward the fire exit doors, Jane took a deep breath, setting both bags on her shoulders before heading after her. She could do this.


	9. It's better to light a fuse than curse

**9. It's better to light a fuse than curse the forces of darkness**

Allen Randal was a grunt. He wasn't the least bit ashamed of that, in fact he was very slightly proud of it. He liked his job because it involved the two things he was best at; shooting people and breaking things. He especially liked the fact that, under General Ross, he didn't even have to bother with the pesky ethics of whether or not he should actually be shooting these people in particular. Ross liked it when there wasn't anyone left at the end of the day to complain about his methods and Allen liked the fact that he didn't have to worry about tribunals and review boards and enquiries. It was pretty much the prefect job as far as he was concerned.

Except for tonight. They'd entered the facility, belonging to that Stark guy, nearly four hours ago and so far Allen hadn't shot anyone. It was an absolute let-down and he was beginning to wonder if it wasn't some sort of punishment because he'd been on guard duty for the entire time with the new guy. Bryant...Baily... Burns... he honestly wasn't sure. He never bothered learning the names of other grunts unless they managed to live or be useful. Which really was kind of the same thing, because a dead grunt wasn't useful to anyone and a live one must be doing something right. Allen thought back over his last mission, looking for someone he should have shot but didn't. No, he was quite sure he'd shot everyone. Maybe he should break more things this time, just to show he was the ambitious sort.

"Damn, this is boring," Bryant complained. Allen grunted noncommittally. Bryant must be one of those talkers who couldn't appreciate the fact that their job was both easy and enjoyable. Allen hated those. "We've been staring at these morons stuck to the wall for hours now. Shouldn't we be interrogating them or something?" Allen ignored him. Admittedly he was a bit of a fan of interrogation, breaking people, breaking things, it was all the same really. As long as there was breaking he was happy. Bryant did have a bit of a point. He'd be enjoying this assignment more if he'd at least get to rough someone up a little.

"Did you hear that?" Bryant asked. Allen frowned, listening to the rattling sound. It was followed by what could only be described as a shout for help and his brow furrowed. He hadn't been expecting that.

"I thought this floor was clear," Bryant stated. Allen shrugged, trudging down the hall toward the elevator.

"Hello!" it was definitely a woman's voice on the other side of the door and Allen smirked. He liked women, not as much as breaking things but all things considered this might be an opportunity. "Is anyone out there!? We're trapped!"

"Don't get your shorts in a knot lady!" Bryant declared, prying his fingers into the door. "Give us a hand here, Randall," Allen shrugged, lending his weight to the door and they pried it open. A young woman in a lab coat looked up at them, the lift car stuck three quarters of the way to the floor.

"Oh thank god!" she fairly wailed. "We've been stuck in here for hours." She grasped hold of Allen's wrist, hauling herself out of the elevator.

"I was beginning to think we were never going to get out of here." a second woman declared, clambering out of the lift, her red hair up in a messy bun and her glasses pulled down to the end of her nose. She clutched a portfolio to her ample chest, gazing at them both with wide doe eyes. "Has there been a fire or some sort of terrorist threat?"

"Is there a bathroom on this floor?" the shorter woman demanded. "I have to pee!"

"Ms. Lewis, really," the redhead scolded gently before turning back to them. "You'll have to forgive her, she's R&D, it's like a frat house down there."

"I had to pee when we got stuck in there four hours ago!" Lewis protested, hoisting her messenger bag on her shoulder. "Seriously! Where's the bathroom, I'm going to have an accident!"

"This is Mr. Stark's penthouse," the redhead sighed, looking around with a slightly alarmed expression. "I thought you said you could get the elevator to go down, what sort of engineer are you?"

"I was in a six by six box with no windows!" Lewis protested. "I can't tell!"

"Where are my manners," the redhead stated, holding out her hand. "I'm Rushman from Legal, you must be Mr. Stark's personal security detail. I'm so very sorry for all of this, can we get an escort out of the building?"

"To the bathroom!" Lewis insisted, shifting back and forth on her feet. Allen turned to look at Bryant who was staring at both women with a bewildered expression. He let out a huff. Typical.

"Shut up," he rumbled, prodding the smaller woman in the chest with the barrel of his gun. Lewis stared down at it with wide eyes, clearly too shocked to be properly frightened.

"There's no call for rudeness," Rushman insisted calmly. "I'm sure we've all had a very stressful evening. If you could just take the girl to the ladies room and then direct us safely out."

"I'm not a girl, I'm twenty-two!" Lewis protested.

"I said shut up!" Allen growled. This was frustrating. He felt like he should be shooting or breaking but somehow he wasn't quite certain which one. He wasn't keen to make an error here, seeing as he was clearly already being punished for something. This was getting complicated and he hated complicated.

A blast went off down the hall and his head whipped around, his rifle following the track of the sound. And that's when it happened, Rushman's hand shot out, catching Bryant hard in the jaw and sending him tumbling to the floor. In the same instant Lewis scrunched down on the floor in a little ball, grasping hold of his leg and he had only a moment to register the lithe form springing from the roof of the elevator car, her stiletto heels catching him full in the chest. His head hit the wall hard, his last thought as he looked up at the leggy woman in the pencil skirt was that she looked vaguely familiar and he probably should shoot her. Then he blacked out.

* * *

Betty took the stairs two at a time, careening down the stairwell and skidding across the landing before heading downward again. She'd lost her Prada pumps somewhere near sixty-five and her nylons weren't the best for traction but she wasn't about to let that slow her down.

She'd come to like Steve, more to the point she'd come to love Steve for the way he treated Bruce, for the way he protected all of them. Bruce finally had a place to belong and people to call family and she'd be damned if she let anyone take that from him, her father most of all. She skidded to a stop on sixty-two, pulling the highly questionable door charge from her pocket and pressing it to the lock. She mashed the button, diving down in the stairwell and covering her ears. It wasn't a high concussive force but everything was louder in the concrete stairwell. The door swung free and she pulled the repulser out of her other pocket, slipping it on her hand.

"I completely forgot to think of something cool to say," she murmured to herself in realization as she drew in a steadying breath. "I suck at this." She shoved off the step, diving into the shelter of the doorway. The gunfire was almost immediate and she held up the repulser, firing off. The bolt ricocheted off the walls, grazing the helmet of the first guard and sending him toppling back. She let off another blast, hitting him full on this time and he tumbled end over end, crashing into the second guard who rounded the corner. She fired another round, hitting his gun as he took aim at her and the rifle exploded, charring the walls and warping the safety glass of the surrounding labs.

"I'm not dead," She realized, breathing heavily. "I'm kind of annoyed that I'm surprised." She scrambled to her feet, her hand up and ready to fire again. Her eye swept the hall and she shoved the stairwell door shut, running a low level repulser blast along the jamb and melting it shut. She'd promised Jane, she wasn't going to get Steve out that way anyway.

"JARVIS, please tell me you're down here!" She pleaded, checking the nearest labs.

"Partially, Dr. Ross," he replied, static obscuring his voice. "Agent Coulson is still attempting to restore my systems."

"Can you lock down this floor?" She asked, her voice shaking as she started down the hall.

"The elevators will not hold indefinitely. Also, I am still unable to secure the South West Stairwell, intruders could gain entry from that location." He answered.

"I figured, I just need you to buy me as much time as you can." She stopped in front of the second stairwell, melting that door as well "Is the southeast stairwell still secure?"

"It appears to be, Doctor," JARVIS answered. "I would advise that you locate Captain Rogers and vacate this floor immediately before reinforcements arrive."

"Yeah," She nodded, peering into the labs on either side. "I was kind of afraid you were going to say that. Are you detecting anyone else on this floor?"

"One unconscious adult male, two doors down on your right," JARVIS answered. She ran the rest of the way down the hall, bursting into the lab.

"Steve?!" She shouted, scanning the room but there was no one there other than the blond man, too pale and far too still on the exam table. "Steve! Eyes front soldier! Steve!" She stroked his hair back from his face but he didn't respond.

"Oh god, don't die on me," She pleaded, checking his pulse. She was getting a thready heartbeat and she choked back a whimper.

"I need a readout on Captain Roger's condition," she declared in agitation, scanning the instrument tray, snagging up an IV bag and setting the needle in Steve's hand. The vitals came to life, hovering over his still body and she gritted her teeth.

"His blood pressure is steadily decreasing," The AI answered as she worked frantically, taping off the remaining open wounds on his legs. She was sure there must be more on his back but she wasn't sure how to do much about them without assistance.

"Come on, Steve," she pleaded. "Wake up, Are you showing any drugs in his system, JARVIS?"

"There are several compounds I am unable to identify," JARVIS admitted.

"What have they done to you?" Betty whispered. "You can't tell me for certain how he'll react if I medicate him?" She worried her lip between her teeth.

"According to his current readings, doing nothing would be inadvisable," JARVIS remarked.

"Yeah, I know," Betty nodded. "I just don't want to kill him." She sorted through the medication, grasping up a syringe and a bottle of epinephrine.

"Steve if you die on me, Tony is going to fire me," She stated firmly, injecting his IV line. "And you wouldn't want to put a lady out of a job in this economy, would you? I mean that's just unheroic." She grabbed more bandages, her fingers cradling the back of his neck. She felt an obtrusion and she frowned.

"What is this?" She asked, crouching to eye the small metal disk.

"Unknown," JARVIS answered.

"What is going on here?" she demanded, bandaging the wounds she could reach. "Come on Steve, wake up! Attention soldier!" She shed her coat, draping it over him, grasping his hand and rubbing it frantically.

A soft moan escaped his lips and she let out a choked laugh.

"Steve?" She called again, stroking his face. "You have to open your eyes, come on."

"B.. Betty," he slurred. Looking up at her though eyes that were barely slits.

"There you are!" She grinned, brushing the tears from the corners of her eyes.

"Where's your backup?" he mumbled.

"It's a long story," She sighed. "Can you roll onto your side so I can treat the rest of your wounds?"

"Can't move," he objected, his voice thin. "Don't know why... Ross."

"It's ok, shhh," Betty soothed, stroking the hair back from his face. "Backup will be here any minute and then we'll get you out of here."

"Dr. Ross, an armed detail of six is attempting to access this floor though the northwest elevator," JARVIS declared.

"Damn," she hissed.

"Go," Steve insisted. She shook her head in reply.

"Steve, we have to get off this floor," She stated firmly. "Together. Is there anything you can tell me?"

"Remote," Steve declared, licking his lips, his eyes drifting to the instrument tray. Her gaze followed his, sweeping over the technology she was quite certain she'd never encountered in medical school classes.

"This one?" She asked, grasping it up and holding it out for him to see. He managed to nod faintly and she stared at the buttons in dumbfounded silence.

"I..." she hesitated a moment, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Do it," He insisted. Betty mashed one of the buttons and Steve let out a groan of pain.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry!" She cringed, pressing it again. Steve relaxed, gulping in breaths. "I'm so sorry!"

"Try again," he insisted, looking up at her with glassy, dilated eyes. She hesitated a moment looking horrified. He gave her the most understanding smile she'd ever seen. "Try again," he repeated. She closed her eyes, pressing one of the buttons. Steve let out a soft chuckle, curling his fingers as his head lolled to the side.

"Oh thank god," Betty breathed a sigh of relief, grasping his arm and rolling him onto his side toward her.

"Still can't move," he observed, crumpling on the edge of the exam table like a rag doll.

"On your feet, soldier!" She ordered, slipping an arm around his chest and pulling him upright. "You're Captain America, now you stand at attention!" His legs buckled beneath him and she let out a grunt, sagging under his weight.

"I hate being Captain America," Steve confessed struggling to keep his feet moving as they stumbled across the lab.

"You don't say," Betty shifted her hold on him, grasping for the door frame as she half dragged him out into the hall.

"At first is was great," Steve babbled, barely coherent. "Then I stared to realize that people didn't even see a person when they looked at me any more. I was a thing, a tool. That's an insult now, you know? Calling someone a tool. But that's what I was. That's what I am now too."

"I'm really hoping you don't remember any of this when your brain boots up enough to shut up your mouth," Betty admitted, tripping into the wall and letting out a yelp as he half fell on her. "Because I'm pretty sure you'll never talk to me again."

"I'm going to make sure Tony doesn't fire you," Steve promised. "because I'm not dead and that should be worth something."

"Shit," she hissed with a sigh. There was a loud bang that could only be the sound of the elevator door locks being blown and she grasped at him with a squeak, tumbling into the cover of a side corridor as the patrol opened fire.

"This is not good," Steve observed as she fired repulser blasts around the corner. She glanced at him with an exasperated expression.

"You're a bleeding national icon in his skivvies," she stated. "It was already bad before we got to this." Steve looked down at his chest, a dark blush blooming on his features as if he'd only just realizing he was dressed in only his underwear.

"It's only a few yards to the other elevator," Betty declared, glancing down the corridor. "I'm going to lay down some cover and then we're going to make a run for it."

"That's a tactically horrible idea," Steve stated.

"I agree," Betty nodded. "If you've got a better one, I'm all ears." Steve shrugged, his eyes still bloodshot and unfocused.

"JARVIS, be my hero and tell me you have the elevator waiting for us!" she pleaded. There was the unmistakable ding of the elevator chime and the doors half way down the hall slid open.

"JARVIS, I love you!" she declared with a delighted grin. She swung out around the corner, shooting off a fury of repulser fire, taking out the overhead lights and ceiling panels that tumbled to the floor in a heap. She hit the fire suppression system, sending off sprays of retardant foam. Several more shots hit their assailants and she clambered to her feet, dragging Steve up after her and careening down the hall toward the elevator.

"I feel awful," Steve confessed as she shoved him through the door.

"JARVIS! get us out of here!" she shouted just as a fresh volley of fire rained down on them. Steve collapsed in a heap on the floor and Betty sprawled out beside him, her hand pressed to her chest, panting breathlessly as the elevator shot upwards.

"I need a new personal trainer," She admitted.

"You should ask Natasha," Steve suggested. Betty smacked her head into the wall a couple of times with a groan.

"That's far and away the stupidest thing I've ever done," she shook her head, sighing as she ran her fingers though her hair.

"Don't worry," Steve mumbled, curling up on the floor. "You've only been here a couple of weeks, you'll get more chances."

* * *

"Good job!" Natasha praised, grasping Darcy by the arm and hauling her to her feet as she drew her gun.

"I think I actually do have to pee now," Darcy admitted, ruffling her hair as Pepper secured the pair of guards. They could hear booted feet rumbling down the stairs and Natasha hustled her forward.

"Rec Room, go, hurry," She ordered. Pepper sped forward, her own gun drawn and they rushed up the hall, taking cover in the doorway as more guards took aim at them.

"Tony!" Pepper shouted over the blare of gunfire. Darcy's head whipped around to see Tony and Thor stuck to the wall under the staircase like crepe paper.

"There's something you don't see every day," Darcy declared, blinking blankly.

"JARVIS?" Pepper shouted, but there was no answer. "Phil, you better hurry!"

"Here, cover me!" Natasha stated, handing Darcy a modified pistol.

"Wait, what?" Darcy demanded clutching it in both hands. "What's this thing?"

"Point and click!" Natasha ordered. "Do not hit me."

"Ok," she swallowed, wide eyed.

"Do. Not. Hit. Me." Natasha repeated sternly. That seemed to shake Darcy from her stupor and she nodded, slithering forward and letting off several shots. electrical blasts hit the kevlar vests of the guards, arcing over their rifles and sending them jittering to the floor. Natasha sprang up, racing up the steps, a punch to the neck, a kick to the groin, her arm swung out, toppling another guard over the rail.

"What did I miss?" Jane asked breathlessly, laying down repulser fire along the top of the stair rail.

"What took you so long?!" Darcy demanded. "I've been getting shot at!"

"Give me that," Pepper requested, taking the repulser pack from Jane.

"Oh god, don't get killed!" Darcy pleaded, continuing to lay down fire as Natasha carved though their attackers. "Nat'll end me!"

"This isn't my first block party," Pepper assured. Without another word she rolled out into the middle of the rec room, diving behind the sofa and popping up to blast the guards on the upper floor overlook. Natasha wrapped her choke line around the one nearest her, shoving him over the rail to dangle in the air like a piñata.

"JARVIS!?" Jane shouted over the din.

"My systems are rebooting, doctor," The AI answered. "Communications coming back online now."

"Phil?" she called. "Clint?"

"I'm almost clear," Phil answered and she breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm on my way down, where's Betty?" Clint's voice sounded strained and she bit her lip.

"Give her another minute!" Jane begged, rifling in one of the bags she carried.

"We might not have another minute!" Clint replied angrily. "There's more guys on the way up. Where is she?"

"Duck!" Jane shouted, lobbing the grenade out into the middle of the rec room. Pepper curled in a ball, her hands over her head as Natasha shielded her eyes in her arm and Jane grasped hold of Darcy's coat, dragging her behind the wall as the blast went off, sending a burst of piercing white light through the room so bright their skin felt singed. The guards let out screams, the intensity rendering most of them unconscious.

"Holy hell!" Darcy gaped wide eyed as Natasha grabbed the last guard standing by his Kevlar vest, smacking his head into the wall hard. She vaulted to the rec room floor, dusting off her hands with smug satisfaction.

The elevator dinged and Pepper rolled from behind the couch pointing her gun at the lift at the end of the hall.

"Hold!" Jane pleaded loudly, half shielding Darcy who had her gun trained as well. "Hold your fire!"

"Little help here?" Betty groaned, nearly collapsing under the weight of Captain America, clutching at the elevator door frame in an attempt to stay upright. Natasha swore, lowering her own gun and running down the corridor to Betty as Phil busted through one of the vents, rolling out on the floor.

"JARVIS! lock it down!" Clint's voice sounded over the com.

"With pleasure, sir." the AI answered.

"Tony, oh god," Pepper hurried to him, Jane hot on her heels. "Are you all right?"

"Jane, you should not be here," Thor murmured, smiling at her tenderly.

"We're going to do this now?" she asked in exasperation.

"They took Steve," Tony ground out as Pepper stroked his face.

"It's ok, we got him back," Natasha declared, helping Betty deposit him on the couch.

"Did I just see a national treasure in his boxer briefs on my sofa?" Tony asked, a stunned expression on his face.

"Yeah I think you did," Pepper struggled not to laugh.

"Good I thought I'd lost it," Tony admitted.

"Phil's been shot!" Darcy declared, half dragging him into the rec room, his arm draped around her.

"It's only my shoulder," Coulson declared as Clint descended the stairs two at a time. "It's not bad." Barton grasped hold of Phil, steering him into one of the chairs and taking the bandages Betty held out to him.

"I can't get them down!" Jane stated in frustration, her fingers tugging futilely at Thor's arm.

"Here, try this," Betty answered, tossing her the remote. "I think red's for off, just don't press the green one." Jane mashed the button and both Thor and Tony tumbled from the wall, collapsing in a heap on the carpet.

"Oh, damn I can't feel my hands," Tony complained, groaning as he rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

"What is this thing on the back of his neck?" Natasha demanded, her fingers raking gently though Steve's hair.

"Some form of control technology," Betty shook her head. "I'm guessing they all have one.

"That explains a good deal," Thor stated, rubbing the one on the back of his own neck.

"I'm good," Steve mumbled, trying to sit up. "Give me a minute to catch my breath and we'll go."

"Lay down and shut up or I'm going to shoot you," Natasha stated in her most calm, serious voice. Steve seemed to consider the order a moment before easing back down on the couch silently.

"We need to go get Bruce," Pepper stated firmly.

"The top floors are secure," Natasha nodded in agreement. "Jane, stay here, cover the wounded, Darcy, Clint, Betty, Pepper, you're with me." Phil made to open his mouth but she glared at him angrily.

"I'm in a shooty mood today," she stated flatly. He leaned back in the chair with a sigh.

"JARVIS, could you bring up the security interface?" Phil asked calmly. The feeds flickered to life, and he settled a hand over the wound on his shoulder as Clint pulled away.

The low rumbling boom shook the floor and Pepper's head whipped around, staring as the water in the fish tank on the wall rippled.

"Please tell me no one in R&D has been making dinosaurs," Tony pleaded. "Damn it I know I didn't authorize that shit!"

"There's too much ominous in this tower," Darcy declared, staring up at Natasha with eyes like saucers. "I want an ominous-free lifestyle."

"Then you're going to need new friends, baby," Natasha offered drily.

* * *

**Notes:**

The following two chapters make reference to events in _If the Night Runs Over_ If you haven't read it, you might want to. If you don't want to, (and I'll be kind of sad if you don't want to) You can get Spoilers of all the technical information in the end notes of the next chapter.


	10. Make it or break it mostly break it

**10. Make it or break it... mostly break it. **

"What did you think you were doing?" Clint demanded angrily as they descended the spiral staircase, their feet clicking in rapid staccato.

"I thought I was saving someone who was about three minutes from dying when I got to him," Betty answered.

"Come on guys, don't fight!" Darcy lamented, hurrying after them.

"It was stupid and risky and you could have been killed," Clint countered. "And I told you to go get Coulson!"

"I have the utmost respect for Coulson but he's a far cry from a doctor," Betty countered firmly. "And I'm sorry you're upset but I stand by my decision." The thudding sound was growing louder and more incessant, the rumble reverberating though the walls.

"Oh let it go, Clint," Natasha sighed in exasperation as they hurried down the corridor. "Just how many times have you countermanded Coulson?"

"That's different!" Clint protested.

"Because you're the one who made the call?" she asked, shooting him a look. "Rogers and I should start a club for people who are still alive because someone didn't listen to their SHIELD issued handler."

"Nat that stings," Clint protested, his face contorting in a pained expression.

"Oh there is a hell of a good story there," Pepper declared as she hurried past them to the central staircase. "I'm making one of you tell that later."

"I can hear everything you're saying," Coulson reminded over the coms.

"And let me just say how glad I am you're back in the driver's seat!" Clint declared as they burst through the door to the gym. Clint tore open the weapon's locker, lifting his bow off the rack.

"I think someone's trying to force though the fire doors on the stairwell," Natasha declared, staring at the doors that were starting to buckle under the endless pounding.

"I'm not getting any clear readings," Coulson replied. "But I'm picking up squads converging on that position. Whatever's beyond that door, it's not going to be pretty."

"Call it, Nat," Pepper declared.

"Barton, up high," Natasha ordered, he made a run for her and she crouched down, catching his foot in her hand and heaving him upward. Clint grasped the backboard of the basketball hoop, pulling himself up and scrambling into the scaffolding that mounted it to the wall.

"It's a good thing Thor broke the cheap one," Clint observed, setting an arrow to his bow and taking aim over the backboard. "I've got a titanium alloy shield and you don't Nat!"

"Darcy, stay inside the doorway of the firing range," Natasha commanded, grasping her arm and shoving the door open.

"But!" She looked terrified and for a moment something in Natasha's expression softened, but only a moment.

"The walls are reinforced against repulser fire, they'll stop a bullet easy," She instructed. "If they start shooting at you, pull back and wait for the reload."

"This was not in my conceal/carry class," Darcy declared, reloading the fresh battery clip that Natasha handed her in the modified gun. "And I'm really put out that I didn't get to facebook any of this. I want that on record." Natasha only smirked, rushing to take position in the middle of the gym.

"What the hell is this thing?" she asked as Betty tossed her a monstrosity that looked like a cross between a rocket launcher and a water canon.

"STARK Industries bad idea of the week," Pepper replied, fitting a pair of repulsers on her hands as Betty hoisted a gun of her own, taking aim at the door.

"Whatever comes though that door," Clint shouted. "Stand your ground."

"Oh you did not just Lord of the Rings me!" Natasha groaned in disgust.

"I want new friends!" Darcy insisted angrily.

"The day may come!" Clint fairly crowed back. "But it's not this day."

"Shut up, Legolas," Natasha snapped.

* * *

"I cannot get this stupid thing off," Jane huffed in frustration, her fingers gently probing the back of Thor's neck as she searched for a release button. He grasped hold of her hand, pulling it to his lips and kissing her fingertips.

"Leave it, Jane," Thor advised gently. "there are more vital concerns at the moment."

"I think you and Tony and Steve with weird technology on your spines is pretty vital," she replied, crossing the rec room and sweeping up the first aid kit.

"You don't need to do that," Phil stated as she began to clean and bandage his shoulder wound.

"I ought to be doing something useful," She replied. "I know I'm not much good in a fight."

"You've got two good arms," Tony observed, drily. "You're better in a fight than the rest of the room. No offense Coulson."

"I resent that," Steve stated, wrapping his afghan more tightly around his shoulders as he huddled in the corner of the sofa.

"You can't stand up, Capcicle," Tony observed.

"I can stand up," Steve protested, glaring up at the ceiling, his head lolling over the back of the couch. "I just fall back down again."

"Thanks, Jane," Phil gave her a smile as she taped off the bandage, returning his attention to the security feeds. Tony heaved himself to his feet, stumbling slightly as he headed for the bar.

"You do not need a drink, Tony, sit down!" Jane protested with a scowl.

"Even I'm not dumb enough to mix freaky tech and alcohol," he rolled his eyes, collapsing in one of the bar stools. "I need to check something." He pulled up the computer interface, leaning heavily on the bar.

"Do you feel that this device is impairing your senses?" Thor asked curiously as he slumped on the carpet.

"Yes," Steve and Tony answered in unison.

"Jane, did you pick up a surgeons' field kit when you raided the labs?" Steve asked. Jane looked up from where she was rolling up the leftover bandages.

"Why?" she asked cautiously.

"You need to try cutting this thing out," He stated.

"There is something really wrong with you," Tony declared, his eyes never leaving the holodisplay.

"Steven," Thor chided gently.

"I can handle the pain," Steve insisted. "It's not like anesthesia works on me anyway so..."

"It's anchored to your spine, Steve!" Jane declared, horrified. "I'm not cutting into you! I'm not a medical doctor!"

"I'll heal."

"Good," Thor stated and he reached over and cuffed Steve sharply in the back of the head. Captain America turned a withering glare on him. "You'll heal." Thor repeated firmly.

"I'm kind of wishing I'd volunteered to shoot things," Jane sighed in exasperation.

* * *

The door began to warp, buckling on its hinges as the pounding continued. Darcy covered her ears with her hands, cringing at the sound reverberated through the room. The door burst free with a mighty crack pieces of it skittering across the floor. Pepper winced, keeping one palm trained on the door. A shape moved in the cloud of dust, lumbering into the room and rising to its full height.

"Oh thank god, Bruce!" Natasha sighed in relief.

"Nat look out!" Clint shouted. Hulk let out a roar his fists coming down on the floor in a violent strike, splintering the hardwood and sending it scattering in all directions.

"Bruce!" Betty shouted, Pepper grabbed hold of her, pulling her back.

"Time to stand down, Agent Romanov," Ross declared smugly a cloying smile curling his lips.

"I think we both know I'm not going to do that," She stated emotionlessly. "What have you done to Banner."

"I put your dog on a leash," Natasha's head jerked up at the new voice, her eyes widening in revulsion.

"Dr. Sterns?" Betty's voice warbled in horror. "what have you done?"

"Agent Romanov," Sterns declared, stepping forward, a computer pad clutched in his hands. "I've been so looking forward to seeing you again." His fingers ghosted over the pad and Hulk reached out menacingly his hand hovering over Natasha.

"No!" he shouted, his face contorting in anger as he clearly struggled in vain to stop himself. The arrow pierced the air, embedding in Hulk's shoulder and slowly, ever so slowly, he sank to his knees, his head lolling as he transformed.

"Tell Stark score one for his new tranks," Clint declared into the coms with satisfaction.

"Sterns!" Ross bellowed, his face turing red in anger.

"Relax, general," Sterns soothed. "Remember your blood pressure." his fingers tapped on the tablet again and Bruce's head jerked back, his eyes turning green.

"Bruce?" Pepper called to him in panic as Betty gaped horrified.

"I'm not going to let you do this!" Bruce shouted, his face contorting in pain at the effort of controlling the transformation. A second arrow flew dead at Sterns chest but at the last second it deflected away.

"I know you're out there, Agent Barton," Sterns declared with a grin, his bulbous head tilting to the side coyly. "Don't think I didn't come prepared to deal with you. And when I find you I will deal with you."

"Let him go." a gun clattered to the floor and Betty stepped forward slow, determined strides carrying her across the room.

"Doctor!" Natasha hissed. Betty ignored her, stopping just a handful of yards from where Bruce convulsed on his hands and knees.

"You let him go right now," Betty repeated, her eyes dark and angry as she turned to glare at her fater. "And don't you ever come back here."

"You shouldn't let your little girl talk to you like that," Sterns mocked lightly. He ignored Ross' withering look, smiling at Betty before adjusting his controls. Bruce let out a pained scream and Betty made to rush to him but a second later Natasha's fingers were digging into her writs, pulling her back as the Hulk emerged with a deafening roar.

"I wouldn't try that again if I were you, Barton!" Sterns taunted. "That much tranquilizer in his system would easily be enough to kill him."

"Bruce?" Betty gasped out. Hulk's fist swung out in their direction and Natasha gave her shove, tumbling out of the way.

"Don't you just love my control system?" Sterns asked. "It's so elegant, so refined, so intuitive, the height of artificial intelligence. All I have to do is select the targets and it goes straight to work."

"Betty, Clint, Darcy keep the grunts back!" Natasha ordered as Hulk took a swing at Pepper and she slipped by him expertly. Darcy let off a series of shots, taking out Ross' men as they barreled though the shattered door.

"No!" Hulk raged, his fists pounding the floor as Natasha and Pepper dogged, taking shots at the soldiers when they could manage.

"Coulson we could use Stark's brain right about now!" Clint bellowed into the com.

"Stark's brain is on hiatus," Coulson admitted, wincing as the engineer slumped against the bar groggily, rubbing his head.

"What did they do to Bruce?" Jane asked in horror, scuttling down the stairs and tossing a pair of sweats and a T-shirt at Steve before leaning over Phil's shoulder.

"From my readings he would appear to be under the influence of a control mechanism similar to the one used on Mr. Stark, Captain Rogers and Thor," JARVIS declared. "Only much more advanced."

"I'm not seeing a control disk like the others," Natasha stated, expertly sliding out of the way of Hulk's arm.

"JARVIS, can you scan him?" Jane requested. Bio readings for the Hulk came up and she squinted at them worriedly. "They're sub-dermal."

"Say that again?" Clint demanded.

"They're sub-dermal!" Jane repeated frantically. "Dozens of them, they're controlling all his major muscle groups."

"They must have been trying to do the same thing with me," Steve nodded blearily, struggling to stuff one leg in his pants. "But my body rejected them."

"If that's why you look like swiss cheese I think I'm going to be sick," Tony declared, curling up in a heap on the floor beside the bar.

"How do we shut it down?" Natasha demanded,

"I don't know," Jane shook her head. "I'm not having any luck with the ones here. I've tried everything I can think of and the only change is that they all seem to be getting sicker."

"Whatever the control agent is, it must be creating a toxic reaction," Betty remarked.

"Won't that kill them eventually?" Pepper demanded.

"Eventually," Betty agreed. "But clearly that version of the technology is meant to be temporary."

"We have to shut this down," Phil insisted. "the repercussions of someone like Ross having an army of superhumans under his absolute control."

"I'm open for suggestions!" Natasha replied.

"Tony?" Jane hurried to him, kneeling on the floor and grabbing him by the shoulders. "I need to borrow your brain for a bit."

"I don't want to go to school, mom, I don't feel good," he mumbled.

"This is my life, these are my choices," Jane sighed as Tony curled up with his head in her lap, hugging her knee.

"Jane?" Darcy's voice was strained and her stomach twisted nervously as she untangled herself from Tony's grasp, hurrying back to Coulson.

"What is it?" she asked worriedly.

"Jane, you're brilliant," Darcy insisted.

"Really Darc?" she sighed in exasperation. "Flattery is not going to help."

"No listen to me!" Darcy let out a squeak and Jane looked up at the video feed of Darcy cowering in the doorway as gunfire spattered the concrete wall. "You are, you're a genius! You're just too stupid to realize it!"

"Darcy, we need to talk about being helpful," Phil observed.

"Just _listen_!" Darcy fairly shrieked. "It's why everyone in the astrophysics department at Culver hated you! And it's why everyone here loves you! You're a genius, there are things in your head I couldn't begin to grasp and you can figure this out, I'm telling you it's there in your head and you can fix it."

"I can't Darcy," She answered, a tear trickling down her face. "I'm sorry but I can't"

"I'm telling you Jane I believe in you!" Darcy insisted vehemently. "You are going to save my life. I've seen it a hundred times. Any second now the solution's going to hit you like a bolt of lightening!"

"Darcy, I..." her voice trailed off. The gunfire bursting over the coms dissolving into a soft patter at the edge of her senses as her eyes grew wide. "A bolt of lighting." She whispered.

"Jane?" Phil gave her a worried look as a dreamy expression bloomed on her face.

"Darcy you beautiful genius!" Jane squealed.

"What happened to flattery not helping?" Darcy demanded angrily. Jane bolted across the room to the bar, pushing aside Tony's research and bringing up her own set of readings.

"JARVIS, I need the power status numbers for floor thirteen!" She looked down at the carpet with a frown. "Tony let go of my ankle."

"Tell me you have an idea Jane," Natasha called over the com, Jane looked up at the video feed in time to see the redhead barely avoid being flattened by a green fist. "we can't keep this up forever."

"The systems are all electrical, the control mechanisms, Stern's shield, all of it." Jane stated. "We need to shut it all down."

"Great," Pepper agreed. "How?"

"A bolt of lightening," Jane replied.

"What?" Natasha demanded.

"Ocean-13," Jane stated.

"I thought everything below fifty was dead," Pepper shouted.

"It is," Phil nodded.

"I can fix it," Jane insisted, grasping up a bag of tools they'd raided from Tony's lab. "I just need to go down and trip the breakers, boot it back up. Once it goes off you'll have three minutes."

"If we do this," Natasha began.

"Don't think," Clint called, interrupting her. "Go Jane, hurry."

"Barton!" Phil declared warningly as Jane ran for the elevator.

"I'll be fine!" Clint insisted. "Get that thing up and running, Jane!"

"I'm on my way!" Jane insisted as the doors closed. She stared up at the numbers on the lift, drawing in a deep breath.

"JARVIS, Clint's implant?" She asked in a small voice. "The one that helps him walk. If I set this off will it be destroyed?"

"The device is very heavily shielded," JARVIS assured.

"But it'll probably need to reboot," She observed. "He'd be vulnerable, he could be injured or killed."

"That assessment is sound," JARVIS agreed.

"The others could be injured or killed if I don't," she added.

"That assessment is also sound," JARVIS agreed.

"Glad we straightened that out," Jane observed as the door dinged open.

* * *

**Notes:**

Spoilers for "If the Night Runs Over":

Clint sustains a spinal injury that leaves him a paraplegic. As he deals with the loss of his life as he's known it, his teammates deal with the loss themselves in their own way. Tony's way was to spend nearly every waking moment for eight months developing an implant to bypass the damage. Clint is completely fine now, and the implant is so small that most of the time he doesn't even think about it. Natasha and Phil think about it quite a bit, they're protective like that, but the rest of the team is just happy to have him back in action.


	11. It's all fun and games until

**11. It's all fun and games until someone loses and AI**

"This is not how I wanted to spend my Friday night," Betty admitted, skidding behind one of the weight benches.

"I am never going out with you people again!" Darcy shrilled, letting off another volley of shots. Hulk roared angrily, his face contorting in rage, his fist coming down on the floor in the exact spot Natasha had been a moment before.

"Her aim's getting better," Pepper observed, crouching behind the rowing machine, letting off a blast of repulser fire to deflect Hulk from his attack on Natasha.

"No!" Hulk shouted.

"Keep moving," Natasha insisted. "Barton, what have you got for me?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm wearing out," Betty admitted, panting, she tossed aside the cannon she'd been dragging around, drawing her repulser pistol and tearing across the gym in a strafing run.

"I can't even slow him down," Clint stated, taking shots at the grunts who occasionally ventured into the room. Ross had retreated to the doorway and Clint had wasted a perfectly good arrow discovering that he was protected by the same shield as Sterns. "Jane, tell me some good news."

"I need a couple of minutes!" her voice crackled over the coms. Clint drew his bow back letting the arrow fly. The tip anchored in Hulk's calf and he let out a howl of pain. Clint retracted the attached cable and Hulk's feet flew out from under him.

"Betty look out!" He warned. Betty scrambled out of the way of a round of fire.

"Hold!" Ross shouted. "Hold your fire!" He moved forward, his chest hitting the shield.

"Please, General, don't be so distracting," Sterns cooed, adjusting his controls. Hulk's arm shot out, knocking Betty to the floor as he scrambled to his feet.

"Betty!" Pepper shouted. She leveled a repulser blast at Hulk's back but it didn't even phase him.

"No!" Hulk howled, his fist beating the floor of the gym as Betty scooted backwards, sliding out of the way by mere fractions of an inch.

"STERNS! For the love of god!" Ross bellowed but Sterns only laughed, his mad eyes wide with delight as Hulk's fist swept out, batting aside a stationary bike that nearly knocked Pepper to the floor.

"NO!" Hulk's anguished cry rattled the walls as he took another swipe at Betty, nearly taking off her head, and Clint drew his bow back.

"Shoot!" Hulk roared, both his fists pummeling the floor on either side of Betty. "Hawk SHOOT!"

"Oh my god," Clint breathed out, his eyes wide with horror. Hulk knew, knew Clint was there, ready to take the shot, ready to take him down and granting permission, begging Clint to stop him.

"Buddy don't you ever try to tell me you're not in there again," Clint whispered, taking aim. "Betty get clear."

"Clint no!" She sobbed out, scrambling into the corner by the storage cupboard,

"Get clear!" He barked. She dove in behind the door and he let the arrow fly. "Duck!" Darcy scrabbled farther into the firing range and Natasha and Pepper shielded their eyes only seconds before the flash went off. Hulk roared at the pain, his arms flailing as he lost his balance, tumbling over with a crash. Clint felt slightly smug that Sterns was swearing under his breath as he adjusted the settings on his tablet.

"Get them!" Ross ordered, motioning his men forward. Clint fitted another arrow, letting off a blast at their feet as Hulk stumbled upright, swaying.

"I'm ready!" Jane's frightened voice flitted over the com.

"JARVIS?" Clint shouted above the din, keeping the grunts at bay with a series of well chosen shots "Code: Jodi Foster."

"Yes Sir," JARVIS answered. "Transferring all systems to floor seventy-five, commencing lockdown."

"Take it out, Jane!" Natasha replied.

"Barton get down from there!" Coulson ordered.

"I can't do that sir," He stated, letting lose more arrows to cover Pepper and Natasha as they retreated from Hulk "Jane, take it out."

"Barton!" Coulson's tone was frantic, and Clint drew in a steadying breath, locking his legs around the struts.

"Jane," Clint said calmly, drawing back his bow. "It's all right, do it."

Jane's hand came down on the activation button and she curled away from the unit, her arms over her head. She could feel the wave break over her, rolling across the building as the lights went out.

* * *

"Barton!" Coulson shouted, his eyes riveted on the screen. The world seemed to grind to slow motion and he watched as one by one the security feeds dropped out and finally the rec room feed winked out. Phil turned to look out the wide expanse of windows, watching darkness descend silently over Midtown. In the far corner of the window he could see the faint glow of the field surrounding SHIELD headquarters that stretched into the sky and then that was gone as well.

"Did someone tase me in the neck?" Tony whined, rubbing the back of his head. Phil's head whipped around and he raced to Steve.

"Get them off!" He ordered, grasping the control unit and tugging gently, it came free in his hand and he grasped hold of the one on Thor's neck as Tony yanked off his own with a grunt.

The lights stuttered back to life.

"Yeuk!" Tony stared at his palm, rubbing his neck. "It looks like a damn robo-spider!"

"Hurry!" Steve grasped Thor's arm, dragging the Norse god to his feet. "We have to go."

"I want sick leave, damn it!" Tony protested. "I feel like shit."

"Shake it off, Stark," Steve struggled to hide his smile. "Your best girl needs you."

"That is low and I hate you," Tony declared angrily, stumbling toward the stairs, Thor and Steve mere steps behind him. "Jay, talk to me!"

"Internal coms are active now, sir," JARVIS informed.

"Clint! Tasha!" Coulson shouted, hurrying down the stairs after them.

"Little busy now!" Natasha called back.

"Clint!" Phil's expressionless face was white as a sheet as he barked out. "Respond!"

"I left my post sir," Clint declared breathlessly. Clint stared up at the ceiling of the gym with a dizzy, disconnected feeling. The last sixty seconds were kind of a blur. He'd felt the EMP pulse hit his body, felt his implant stutter, shocking him slightly and then he'd lost control of his legs. His mad scramble to find a handhold in the darkness had been unsuccessful and he'd tumbled toward the floor.

"Get your heavy ass off of me Barton!" Darcy complained. Clint blinked, trying to move his legs but nothing happened. Darcy let out a snarl of frustration, shoving him off and scrambling to her feet, grasping him around the chest and pulling him toward the shelter of the gun range.

"You need to lay off the doughnuts!" she snapped. Clint shook the cobwebs from his head with a laugh, his eyes focusing on Pepper and Natasha who were leveling a rain of fire down on Ross's forces. The general had scrambled behind the debris that had once been the door and Sterns's massive head was contorted in rage as he struggled to reactivate his tablet.

A low rumbling growl reverberated across the room and Clint blinked.

"Oh boy," Darcy observed, her arms tightening around Clint's chest as she cowered behind him. "This could get bad."

Hulk stumbled to his feet, crawling out of the crater in the gym floor left by his sudden collapse, his eyes flaming.

"Bruce!" Betty shouted, scrambling from the supply closet. The Hulk's head whipped around, his narrowed eyes falling on her. For one brief moment something flickered in his expression; misery, longing, Clint couldn't be sure, then it was gone and Hulk turned back with a sickening, deafening roar, his arm sweeping out, sending Ross's men helter skelter. Ross gaped horrified as his men turned to run, screaming, Hulk flinging them aside like chaff.

"You stupid, moronic brute!" Sterns shrieked, his eyes wide with mad rage, but that was all the farther he got. Hulk grabbed him, drawing his arm back and flinging him down the remains of the emergency stairwell. He let out a thundering howl before barreling forward, toppling men like bowling pins in his mad dash after Sterns.

"That wasn't so bad," Clint remarked with a shrug.

"That wasn't the part I was worried about," Darcy quailed, her hand tightening in his shirt as she peered over his shoulder.

"You!" Betty's entire body tensed with fury, hands balled in fists as she stormed across the floor toward Ross who was clambering out of the debris that had once been his army and their gym. Her fist connected with his jaw in a sickening crack and he staggered backwards.

"We don't have time for this!" Natasha reminded, pouncing on her, holding her back. "Leave him! We have to get to Bruce before Sterns does something to him!"

"You're wasting your time," Ross spat, rubbing his jaw. "I made sure that monster will stay away from you for good this time." Betty gaped at him in horror.

"What did you do," she whispered.

"I expect you told Bruce she helped you," Tony stated with a sneer, strolling across the remains of the gym with Steve and Thor a half step behind him.

"You didn't," Betty whispered, Ross gave her an unapologetic glare.

"There's nothing you can do about it now," Ross snarled at Tony. "You can't touch me."

"Maybe not," Tony agreed with a nod, a slow smile bloomed on his lips and Ross let out a yelp as a hand fisted in his collar. "But she can."

"Get the hell out of my house," Pepper snarled, her teeth bared. "And if you _ever_ come back here there is nowhere in the world you will be able to hide from me." Her fist flew and he staggered to the floor, collapsing in an unconscious heap.

"Your house?" Tony asked casually, stepping to Pepper's side as she towered over Ross, her chest heaving.

"Twelve percent my house," Pepper nodded firmly. "An argument can be made for fifteen."

"No argument from me," Tony nodded in agreement.

"We need to split up," Natasha reminded, releasing her hold on Betty. "Try to find Hulk before Sterns gets his feet under him."

"What did I miss?" Jane asked, clambering over the twisted wreck of the rowing machine lying in the doorway.

"All the fun," Clint replied, a grin on his face as he leaned back in Darcy's arms.

"Yeah, I had a great time!" Darcy snarked. "let's do this again."

"You ok, Katnis?" Tony asked, his brow creasing in worry.

"It's booting back up," Phil nodded, checking the readings on his tablet. "I've got this, you guys go."

"Let's get the last member of our team and wrap this up," Natasha stated.

* * *

Bruce rolled onto his side, coughing, dust and debris floating down around him. He rubbed his eyes, blinking blearily as he tried to get his bearings. There were cubicles lining one of the walls and a morass of debris cluttering the middle of the room that looked as if it might once have been desks and office chairs but now more closely resembled kindling.

He staggered to his feet, stumbling to the window, a long swath of the glass had shattered and he gazed out over Park Avenue. He closed his eyes, struggling to remember but only one memory surfaced. He winced, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"J..." he snapped his mouth shut. No, not JARVIS, chances were the EMP blast had taken all the security equipment off line for now. He remembered the EMP blast. He shuddered, trying to quell the nauseous feeling at the memory of the pain. JARVIS would be back on line any moment now if he wasn't already and Bruce wasn't keen for the AI to have a bead on his location. He scrambled over the debris strewn floor to one of the desks, jerking open drawers. He found what he was looking for in the third desk. The STARK tablet probably belonged to someone in marketing by the looks of the installed software but it had booted up without so much as a hiccup. Tony had been adamant about that in the design, shielding against electrical damage. It was essential for anyone with Tony's paranoia level and that paranoia was going to save Bruce's bacon.

He booted up the back end software, another Tony paranoia feature that secretly stored all of Tony's private tools on every STARK pad ever made. The bioreadings came up and he sighed in relief. The implants appeared to be completely dead, damaged beyond repair when the pulse had shorted them out. He sank to the floor, leaning against the desk and breathing deeply.

"I have to get out of here," he whispered. He brought up the internal readings, he was on the fortieth floor from the looks of things. It was a full thirty-four floors up to his suite. He really shouldn't go up, he should make a break for it now but he didn't have much choice. Nothing attracted attention like a half naked man in tattered sweatpants running through the streets of New York in the early hours of the morning. He needed clothes and supplies and he'd need to take the elevator up. He'd have to hurry. He sat for a moment, calculating everything he'd need before clambering to his feet and digging though the remaining desks, looking for anything useful, stuffing everything in a random book bag. He stared at it mutely for a moment, the Avengers adorned the side of the bag, his own green tinged eyes staring back at him from a face that wasn't his own. He shuddered, walking to the broken vending machines and topping off the bag with chips and candy bars and bottled water. It wasn't much but it would have to do for now. He kicked open the locking mechanism, pulling a handful of bills out. A few ones wouldn't get him far but he'd managed on less. He drew in a shaky breath, shouldering the book bag and heading for the elevator. He had no idea how long he'd been out and he needed to get clear before the others caught up to him.

It was simpler that way.

He pressed the call button, wondering what had become of Sterns and where the man would run now that he'd gotten away. He tried not to think about Ross. For all the misery he'd caused tonight there was no way anyone could pin it on him, not even Tony. Ross was too well connected and undoubtedly already had an alibi in place. He boarded the elevator, slumping against the wall as the doors slid shut. He was so tired but he couldn't think about that right now. He had to hurry.

He had to get out of here before it was too late.


	12. The journey of a thousand miles

**12. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a jacked BMW**

"There's nothing in the lab," Steve declared to the coms as he mounted the stairs to the rec room. "It looks like someone raided his equipment."

"I'm pretty sure that was us," Jane confessed.

"We escorted General Ross from the tower," Thor added. "There is no sign that he was ever in the lobby. Jane and I are returning now."

"I tracked him to some offices on forty," Natasha declared. "But the trail ends cold. It looks like Sterns got away."

"He didn't take Bruce, did he?" Darcy asked worriedly as she and Clint stepped off the elevator. Clint wobbled just a moment, gripping her shoulder to steady himself.

"He'd have a hard time controlling Bruce without his tech," Pepper pointed out as she and Tony appeared from the other end of the hall.

"We found that smashed up pretty good on fifty-seven," Tony added. "JARVIS, we need the security scanners back up."

"Many of the electrical systems were permanently damaged by the EMP, sir." the AI said with a sigh.

"We can't rule anything out," Phil stated from his seat at the bar, his fingers flying over the interface as he brought the systems back online. "But is more likely at this point that he's unconscious somewhere."

"How are you doing?" Steve's brow furrowed as he gripped Clint's shoulder gently.

"Not bad," Hawkeye gave him an embarrassed smile. "I think I gave myself a concussion when I hit the floor. It would have been worse if I hadn't fallen on Darcy."

You didn't fall on me," she corrected with a scowl. "I tried to catch you and you were uncooperative." Clint slipped an arm around her shoulder, kissing the top of her head.

"Thanks kiddo," he said kindly.

"I am never doing that again so don't ask," She insisted.

"It's not like there's that many places he could have gone!" Pepper sighed in exasperation.

"Tony," Betty descended the spiral staircase with a fretful expression. "I... I checked his room. Some of his things are missing."

"Damn," Steve hissed out under his breath. "Why would he run?"

"It doesn't matter why," Natasha stated over the com. "We need to stop him." Tony clenched his jaw in concentration.

"He was up here while we were running around down stairs hunting him," Tony observed.

"He'd be trying to get clear as fast as he could," Steve added. Tony hurried up the stairs past Betty, heading for the living room, Steve and Clint following after him on instinct.

"I keep two sets of car keys handy," Tony stated, striding toward the credenza in the wall. "One in the garage in an electrical safe."

"Which is probably completely non-functional," Clint observed. Tony opened a drawer in the credenza with a frown.

"The keys to the BMW are gone," Tony stated, swearing under his breath. He turned on his heel, striding to the elevator. "Ok, everybody, we're headed to the garage! Assemble and whatever. JARVIS, reactivate the security lockdowns on the garage doors, top priority!"

"Do you think that's the best idea,"Steve asked uneasily. "locking him in?"

"No, not really," Tony shrugged. "But he's not just walking away. Not if I have anything to say about it."

* * *

Bruce slumped against the elevator wall, rubbing his forehead. His head hurt and he could feel exhaustion curling at the edge of his senses. He needed to sleep, he really should have climbed into bed and let his body recover. But morning wasn't that far off now and if he didn't go now he'd never leave. He couldn't give them a chance to try to talk him out of it, especially not Tony.

He'd been so stupid to stay here. What had he been thinking? The elevator doors opened and he stepped out into Tony's private garage. He drew in a slow breath, amazed at how peaceful it was.

Most of the rest of the tower appeared to be in shambles, which was probably at least 70% his fault. What he could remember backed up that argument. The garage was pristine, almost immaculate, Tony's cars lined up in neat succession from one end to the other. The spot along the south wall usually occupied by the limo was empty and Steve's antique motorbike and Clint's sleek, black 67 Impala were parked along the north wall. He paused a moment to stare at them. Natasha had actually laughed when Clint had come home with the thing, a rare show of emotion from her. She never did explain the joke.

He shook himself, fatigue settling into his bones. He shouldn't linger, he couldn't. He'd engaged in enough self indulgence. He pressed the trunk button on the key bob of the BMW, his steps deliberate as he tossed his duffle bag in, slamming it shut.

For a moment he felt a swell of guilt. He should let them know he was all right. They were already looking for him, he knew. He'd barely avoided Coulson on the way down. He really shouldn't let them assume Sterns had him but he needed the diversion. He'd let them know once he was out of the city.

His hand closed over the door handle and he sighed. The garage was EMP shielded, the GPS was probably still working. He didn't have much time before Tony could use it to track him down.

"Bruce!" He froze, his stomach knotting up. He could hear her feet echo on the concrete and his heartbeat skipped up. Other footfalls met his ears behind hers and he could feel the threads of panic blooming in his chest. He had to get out of here. He wrenched the door open. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Jane latch onto Betty's arm, holding her back, Thor looming over them silently.

"Bruce," Steve's gentle voice rang hollow against the walls of the parking garage, as he approached. He gave Betty a reassuring look, his hand brushing over her arm gently as he passed her. Bruce froze up again, his white-knuckled hand curling over the top of the car door.

"I have to go," Bruce forced out, his voice sounding strained to his own ears. He could feel the monster underneath the surface struggling and he willed his heartbeat to slow. He was so tired, so drained, so close to losing his thin thread of control.

"So you're just going to steal my bimmer without saying anything?" he winced at Tony's voice but he didn't turn.

"I wasn't..." Bruce drew in a shaky breath. "I was going to leave it at one of your factories in Jersey. I was just borrowing it to get out of the city."

"Damn it, Bruce, it isn't about the car," Tony snapped. "You can keep the damn car for all I care! It isn't even about you needing to get out of here and catch your breath! But you come to me, you come to me and I put you on a plane for Tahoe or the Bahamas or something! You don't take my car and skip out in the middle of the night!"

"Tony," Steve murmured warningly, his hand settling on Tony's shoulder.

"No," Tony turned on him with a truly angry glare. "I'm not walking on eggshells for him. He thinks he can take off and avoid a fight about it because we're afraid to piss him off. Well I'm not afraid, and I don't give a shit if I piss him off. I'm insured. He's not running and I don't care if I have to hit him in the jaw to prove it."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Bruce pleaded softly, tears stinging his eyes.

"There's a lot of crap you wouldn't do that I wouldn't think twice about," Tony stated flatly, his steps making their slow way across the garage with a soft reverberating click. "I told you, I have your back. We all do. What do you think you're going to do on your own? You tried that, is that really what you want?"

"I can't stay here," Bruce's voice shook and Tony stopped just beyond the bumper of the car. Bruce glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, his grip on the car door tightening. Tony only stared at him, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his dress pants, his top shirt button undone. He was a mess, They all were, Bruce knew. Against his better judgement he glanced over his shoulder. Steve's eyes looked hollow and there were wounds visible on his arms, Thor looked bedraggled as well and there were smudges of dirt and blood on Jane's face as she huddled against Betty's shoulder tiredly. His head turned the other direction to find Pepper and Phil standing with Natasha, her hand resting on Clint's arm. "I..."

"I didn't sell you out Bruce," Betty's voice was clear and calm and fierce but her hands shook slightly. Darcy slipped from Thor's shadow to stand beside her before slipping a protective arm around her shoulders. "I know what my father said to you and none of it's true. He was trying to hurt you. I wouldn't, I swear I wouldn't."

"He's not leaving because of you, Betty," Tony's gaze dropped to his feet. "I know him better than that."

"He'll be back," Bruce drew in a shaky breath. "He'll be back and next time."

"Don't," Tony said softly. "Bruce, don't do that. You are not the only one here with enemies. That stuff isn't on any of us. So Ross tried to kidnap you, so what. He tried to kidnap Cap once too, did you know that?"

"Tony, that's classified," Steve protested. Stark shot him a look that said he really didn't give a damn.

"When he can't get to you, who do you think he's going to go after next?" the words stung and Bruce gritted his teeth.

"Tony that's enough," Steve insisted, his voice calm but firm.

"If you want to blame someone put it on me," Tony sighed miserably and Bruce met his eye with a confused expression. Tony shrugged, looking away. "I checked my records. The kids I had move Jane's lab equipment. I specified high level security clearance but I didn't vet any of the files myself. One of the boys had some connections to one of Ross's top men. It had to be him. He quit last week. I'm... sorry I let you down."

"It doesn't make any difference" Bruce fairly choked on the words, his eyes screwed shut. "I can't stay here. It was selfish to stay this long. I'm going to get one of you killed... or do it myself."

"Bullshit," Tony protested, his voice calm. "Seriously, Bruce, look around you? You point out one injury here that you're responsible for."

"I'm responsible for all of them," Bruce insisted. "This never would have happened if I'd left..."

"We know what he did to you," Betty protested, her eyes watery. "It's not..."

"Don't," Bruce shook his head, cutting her off, his fingers grasping the door so hard they hurt. "Just don't."

"Bruce," it was Clint's voice and he knew the words the other man would say before he could give them voice. "None of this is on you." Bruce let his head fall against the roof of the BMW, his shoulders shaking and Tony closed the distance between them, his hand resting soothingly on the back of Bruce's neck.

"You don't have to do this, big guy," Tony said softly. Bruce shuddered beneath the contact. He'd pushed people away for so long, fearing to let anyone touch him, but Tony had done everything in his power to break him of that, pushing, prodding, poking, breaking through his walls by force only to engage in displays of affection that were somehow more threatening. But Tony had understood that, had intuitively known that it was easier to control his reaction to a threat than to learn to let his guard down.

"I know you're trying to protect us, I get that." Tony's words were barely more than a whisper. "But the best way to do that is here, not off on your own. We need you here, Bruce. I swear, I'm not going to let this go south on you."

"Bruce, we want you to stay," Steve pleaded gently. Bruce looked up, his chest rising and falling in unsteady breaths as he met Rogers' eye. Steve had moved to stand at Tony's shoulder, the others gathering at either end of the car, hemming him in.

"Keep him talking long enough to cut off his escape route," Bruce shook his head.

"It's effective," Tony shrugged. "Come back upstairs, get a good night's sleep and tomorrow I'll put you on my plane for Cabo, you'll like Cabo, it's nice this time of year." Bruce let out a hollow laugh, shaking his head.

"I don't need to go to Cabo," he murmured.

"Just come back upstairs," Steve implored. "We'll work it all out."

"You can't," Bruce declared miserably. "He knows where I am, he'll try it again. And there's nothing SHIELD can do to stop him."

"Well you're right about that," Tony nodded turing with a cocky smile to Steve. Captain America folded his arms over his chest with a smug smirk, leaning on the hood of the car and Bruce's eyes widened in alarm.

"No," he choked. "please, I don't..."

"Relax," Tony rolled his eyes. "We're not going to kill him." Bruce breathed a sigh of relief.

"We're just going to hit his interests a little," Steve nodded in agreement.

"At least enough to keep him busy for a while," Tony declared. "He's going to really miss that bar I leveled. When I'm done with him he's going to need a drink." Bruce let out a groan. Tony's hand had settled between his shoulder blades and Stark pressed ever so slightly, nudging him away from the car.

"You don't want that one anyway," Tony assured, ignoring Steve's amused look as he slammed the door shut, snagging the keys from Bruce's hand and popping the trunk button. "It handles like crap, I tore up the suspension." Bruce tried to protest but he couldn't think of anything. He could feel his body beginning to shut down on him, worn from too much adrenaline and worry and too little rest. He needed to go, now before things got any worse, before Tony and Steve did something they'd all regret, before he did something he couldn't take back.

"Tony, let me go," Bruce begged, which was stupid really, Tony didn't actually have a hold of him.

"I thought I told you to unpack that bag," Tony snorted as Clint heaved Bruce's duffle out of the trunk, shouldering it.

"I repacked it," Bruce sighed. "Tony you're not listening."

"You're right, I'm not," Tony nodded in reply. "And I'm not likely to, because I'm an asshole and you're..." he stared at Bruce a long moment, his annoyed expression melting into one of fear. Bruce was taken aback, he wasn't sure he'd ever seen an expression like that on Tony Stark's face.

"You're my best friend," Tony admitted as if the confession pained him. "I'm not just going to let you walk out of here. I can't, ok? Just... don't run."

"Tony," Bruce protested.

"I was not kidding when I said I'd hit you," Tony stated seriously, his hand slid over Bruce's shoulder, fisting gently in the collar of his shirt. "If you want to have a go, I'll be happy to kick your ass but you are not leaving."

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Bruce rolled his eyes.

"No, stupid is thinking that any of us would blame you for any of this," Tony argued angrily. "Stupid is thinking that we'd be ok with you bailing. Stupid is thinking we wouldn't come and hunt you down and bring you back. Because I will do it."

"I'll help," Betty stated firmly, clutching tight to Jane's hand.

"Me too," Jane added. Pepper and Natasha exchanged nearly identical looks before nodding in agreement.

"That's it, the real badasses have your number," Clint shrugged, heading toward the elevator with Bruce's bag, clapping him on the shoulder as he passed. "You're screwed."

"Bruce, just let the dust settle," Betty pleaded, releasing Jane and slipping gracefully into his personal space. Banner only stared mutely for a long moment, fear and regret pulling at his features. She gave him a watery smile, brushing at the corner's of her eyes.

"Betty I..." He wasn't sure what to say.

"Are you all right?" She asked, sniffling as she reached out, her hand running gently over his arm. "Did he hurt you? Bruce, I'm so sorry." He drew in a breath, too shaky to answer and she slipped her arms around his shoulders.

"I'm fine," he managed to finally get out, his arms twining around her waist.

"You're not fine," Betty protested, running her fingers tenderly through his hair. "You're shaken up and... oh my god, Bruce did he drug you?" She pulled away, looking into his eyes, her hands cradling his face.

"Come on, that's it," Tony looked thoroughly angry now. "back upstairs, let Betty have a look at you and make sure you aren't dying of something."

"I'm all right, really," Bruce insisted. His legs chose that moment to finally give out and Steve was at his side instantly, holding him up.

"I've got you," Rogers' soft voice against his ear was the last straw enough to break him and he choked back a sob, slumping into Captain America's arms, too worn to keep fighting.

"Let's get him to his room," Tony said firmly.

"I'm going to call in someone from Medical," Coulson stated, pulling his phone from his pocket.

"Bruce," Betty's face swam into focus, all seriousness. "Are you injured?" It was the last thing he remembered seeing clearly as his vision tunneled and the world slipped into darkness.

* * *

**Notes:**

Yes, they let Ross go. When someone is as politically well connected and powerful as Ross there isn't a lot you can do to get them busted even if you catch them in the act and trying to prove they're at fault in a public venue is pretty much just like handing the press a gun and ask them to shoot at you. Tony's smart and he's played the game his whole life and he knows this perfectly well. Justice isn't something that's going to be served though the regular channels.

Of course Ross also isn't going to admit that he was in Stark Tower and that the leggy, sexy CEO of SI cold-cocked him and left him to be tossed out the front door by the alien brute squad. So if he wakes up on Park Ave. with a bloody nose, well, there isn't a lot he can do about that either.


	13. Worries go down better with doughnuts

**13. Worries go down better with doughnuts.**

"He's going to be all right," It was Tony's voice and Bruce felt his chest swell at both the conviction and underlying worry in that tone. He could feel soft, ridiculously expensive cotton sheets against his skin and a delicate hand clinging to his own.

"I promise," Tony continued firmly. "Whatever happens, he's going to be all right. We'll protect him."

"It feels like my fault," Betty murmured. Bruce gritted his teeth, wincing imperceptibly. "I know it shouldn't. I know how he'd feel if he heard me say that, but..."

"You shouldn't do that," Tony whispered softly. Bruce cracked his eyes to bare slits, his gaze falling on his hand, clutched in Betty's. His brow knitted in confusion. Another hand, male, covered hers and he opened his eyes just enough to trace the line of the arm. Betty sat beside his bed, leaning into Tony Stark's chest wearily. His arm was around her shoulders, offering support, his hand covering their joined ones.

"God knows I'm the king of misplaced guilt," Tony sighed, brushing a kiss on her forehead as if she were a favorite younger sister. "I feel guilty for what happened. But we need to not do that to him, he doesn't need it."

"You're right," she nodded into his shoulder.

"He's been so happy with you here," Tony added as an afterthought, turning his head to catch a glimpse of her eyes as if both offering and asking for something. "Okay?"

"Okay," Betty nodded again.

"Look at it this way," he shrugged lightly. "Practical field test of my defensive systems."

"You need an upgrade," Betty remarked, holding back a giggle.

"Damn straight," Tony agreed. "I can hardly wait to get started. It's like Christmas came early." Betty stifled a laugh in his shirt and Bruce struggled to mask his smile.

"You're going to make me work on some hair-brained shielding system, aren't you?" He murmured.

"You're here rent free," Tony protested, his hand pulling away from Betty's "The least you can do is help me with my science projects!"

"How are you feeling?" Betty asked softly, moving to perch on the side of his bed and running her fingers through his hair. He let out a sigh. He wasn't in the mood to complain.

"How long?" he asked instead.

"It's just after one in the afternoon," she replied. He looked down at the bandages on his arms with a frown.

"Oh, I had my surgeon come in and take out the probes," Tony shrugged. "They're inactive but I put them in quarantine just to be safe. Figured you'd want a look at them later. It's always easier to circumvent a technology you can understand." Bruce nodded in agreement, licking his lips.

"You should eat something," Tony added uncomfortably, heading for the door. "Soup maybe, I'm going to go see if there's soup." Betty bit back a giggle.

"He's terrible at vulnerability," Bruce explained masking his own amusement. "Makes his skin crawl."

"I got that, yeah," Betty smiled at him tenderly.

"Betty,"

"You'd never hurt me," she interrupted, her voice shaking. "Bruce, you asked Clint to shoot you rather than risk hurting me. You begged him."

"I..."

"If you don't believe me then ask him," she insisted, drying the tears from the corners of her eyes. "He was pretty shaken up."

"At least the EMP didn't damage him," Bruce breathed a sigh of relief.

"I know all you see is a monster," She murmured, drawing his hand to her chest and kissing his knuckles. "That's not what I see, it's not what any of them see. You're still there."

"That almost makes it worse," He whispered.

"No," she shook her head. "No it doesn't because you protected me even when you weren't in control of your own body. You fought him every inch. Please just..." Her voice trailed off and he felt something give in his chest. He knew what she was struggling to ask and he could never deny her anything.

"Feeling better?" Steve asked, leaning in at the door. Bruce gave him a faint nod as Betty looked over her shoulder at him.

"What happened to you?" Bruce asked, his brow furrowing in concern. The bandages Steve had been wearing earlier were gone but his arms were pock marked with red scars, still healing.

"They tried the same thing on me that they did on you," Steve admitted hesitantly. Bruce winced. "It didn't go so well for them."

"I'm sorry," Bruce looked away uncomfortably.

"It's not your fault," Steve assured, turning to Betty with a warm half smile. "I never said thanks for busting me out." She glanced up at him nodding a bit shyly as Bruce balked.

"It wasn't a big deal," Betty protested, her cheeks coloring at Bruce's expression.

"It was to me," Steve replied.

"I'm going to go check on Tony before he burns the place down," Betty gave Bruce a smile, brushing a kiss on his lips. She slipped from the side of the bed as Steve occupied the chair, glancing back at them only a moment.

"If you're here to talk me into staying, there isn't much point," Bruce sighed. "I can't say no to her. Not really."

"I figured," Steve shrugged lightly. "I just... there was something I thought you needed to know." He swallowed, shifting in the chair uncomfortably. Bruce didn't say anything.

"Do you remember when I moved in here?" Steve asked finally. "How Tony left to run tests on his suit and came back with me on his personal jet and said not to tell anyone I was here?" Bruce nodded. It had been amusing at the time. The pair of them looked like college kids who'd just got the bad end of a bar fight and asked him not to rat them out to their parents. Which was hysterical since he barely left the lab and never talked to anyone but Tony anyway.

"I took off after the invasion," Steve explained. "I wanted to see the country. It was something Bucky and I always said we'd do after the war, buy a car and see all forty-eight states. Go to Hollywood, see the Grand Canyon. We had a list, so that's what I did. I was on my way back east, just got to Chicago. I stopped at this little place that was supposed to have amazing pizza... weirdest pizza I've ever seen in my life." Bruce chuckled and Steve smiled in return.

"I was sitting at the bar and this fellow walks up to me," Steve continued. "Older gentleman, army brass, I can always tell, there's just something about the way they carry themselves. He wanted to talk to me about a project."

"Ross?" Bruce already knew the answer but Steve nodded anyway.

"I was so tired," Steve admitted. "I lost an entire world, and I thought exploring a new one would somehow make it better, but it only made it worse. So I told him I was done, I was an old man and my fight was over and I was done. And he just looked at me and he asked if I didn't want to be more than just muscle on a propaganda poster. He could give me the chance to do things that would honestly make people's lives better, that would help protect the kids on the front lines, that would make things safer for everyone. And god help me, he told me exactly what I wanted to hear."

"You agreed," Bruce stated. Steve nodded.

"He gave me a Pentagon authorization code," Steve went on. "It checked out so I knew he was legitimate. It just honestly never occurred to me that I couldn't trust him. Things were never like that in my day. We took risks, we didn't take people. He invited me to his facility to see the project. I ended up in a warehouse in Plainfield." Bruce winced, shaking his head.

"It's the funniest thing," Steve shrugged. "Tony gave me that stupid antique bike before I left. I thought he was just trying to mend fences a little."

"He tagged it?" Bruce chuckled. Of course Tony had tagged the bike. For all his mouthiness Tony did have a caring side, buried as it was under alcohol and rehearsed indifference.

"They held me for almost two days before Iron Man showed up and busted me out," Steve stated. "Their lab guys poked and prodded me the whole time. I still don't know what they were trying to do, but I think we got a taste of it last night."

"It's not your fault," Bruce pointed out.

"It's not yours either," Steve agreed, nodding. "Afterward I told Fury I was going to finish my road trip, Tony took one look at me and brought me back here instead. I don't want to need protecting, I shouldn't need protecting. But I kind of do. We all kind of do. We're stronger together, all of us."

"We're a bunch of misfits," Bruce observed.

"I think that's why it works," Steve replied. Bruce let out a chuckle.

"Hey, Big Guy," Tony leaned in at the door with a tense expression. "Do you have a fire extinguisher?"

"Oh my god, Tony!" Steve bolted to his feet, hurrying toward the smell of smoke as Bruce struggled not to laugh.

* * *

Bruce stretched his shoulders as he descended the steps. He probably should have taken the lift, considering the shape he was in but the habit of staying out of confined spaces when possible was so deeply ingrained in his psyche now that he hadn't even realized he'd passed the elevator until he was two floors down. He probably needed the cardio anyway.

On a typical Sunday morning it would be near silent in Avengers Tower, a typical Sunday when they weren't dragging in from a mission of course. He'd spent the better part of Saturday unconscious and had awoken to the low rumble of what had sounded a bit like construction. But as he leaned over the rail he could see the rec room was empty, still covered in bits of broken plaster and shell casings from the wee hours of the morning before. Half way down he realized that the sound was coming from the living room and he turned on the landing, slipping down the connecting hall.

"Oh look at that!" Tony crowed in delight at the TV.

"That is most impressive!" Thor boomed in agreement laughing in amusement as, on the TV, Jane lobbed a flash grenade into the fray.

"I'm backing that up!" Tony declared, rewinding the video to play it again. "JARVIS add this bit to the highlight reel."

"With pleasure, sir," The AI answered.

"Can I get a copy of this?" Phil asked curiously, making himself a coffee at the bar. "The Director's birthday is coming up."

"JARVIS, when you mint the final copy send a DVD to Fury and sign it Phil and the Avengers," Tony nodded, he paused a moment. "And put the girls on the cover so they all look like a punk rock band album."

"Really, Tony?" Steve asked, looking up from his newspaper with an annoyed expression.

"What are you doing with that thing, Capcicle?" Tony demanded, his expression condescending. "Print is dead, didn't anyone tell you?"

"I like the tactile sensation," Steve replied defensively, returning his attention to his paper.

"Oh this is a good one of you and Tasha," Clint declared, holding out his phone to Darcy who was curled up in one of the chairs, Natasha sitting on the arm beside her. Natasha leaned over nodding in approval.

"That is a good one," She stated, turning to Darcy. "I'm all doe eyed so you can use it. Label it: Got trapped in the elevator with this girl from legal."

"What in the world are you doing?" Jane asked, heading toward the sofa with two cups of coffee.

"Facebooking," Darcy replied.

"Are you crazy?" Jane asked in alarm.

"I do it all the time," Natasha shrugged. "It's called plausible deniability."

"Our cover is that hackers triggered a security lockdown at SHIELD," Phil added. "Fury's already bringing in the usual suspects."

"You should friend Natalie Rushamn so you can tag her," Clint advised, flicking through the security footage. "Makes it more believable."

"Here's one of you and Pepper that's nice," Natasha pointed out.

"Got to meet the CEO," Darcy mumbled as she typed. "She's pretty awesome." Jane shook her head, sighing as she slumped down on the sofa next to Thor, handing him a coffee.

"If you're going to replace all the kitchen appliances anyway I think you should go with something more interesting than the standard stainless steel," Betty observed, leaning over Pepper's shoulder as she perused her laptop. The CEO of STARK Industries was sitting cross-legged in one of the arm chairs wearing cut-offs and a t-shirt with a picture of Mjölnir on it that said "Hammer Time."

"You have a point," Pepper agreed. "A little character would be nice, it's so clinical in there. Tony picked out everything before I could stop him."

"Look at that one," Betty pointed out. "The automotive finish comes in Hot Rod Red."

"Perfect," Pepper agreed, nodding. "I'm going to call the manufacturer and get them to change the hardware from chrome to gold."

"Can I get a commercial range?" Steve asked longingly, peeking at Pepper over the top of his paper with pleading eyes.

"Oh my god, you're like a puppy," Pepper observed in horror as Tony let out a cackle of a laugh. "Don't do that, it's unsettling! I'll give you anything you want, don't look at me like that ever again!"

"Morning guys," Bruce said uneasily, it still made him a little nervous, coming into a room where they were all engaged in being loud, boisterous, overgrown children.

"Hey, Big Guy!" Tony called over his shoulder, never looking away from the TV. "Join us for the show. After this we're going to cut a gag reel."

"Tea?" Phil held out a mug to him as he walked across the room.

"Thanks," Bruce nodded, taking the mug from him as Phil moved to sit on the arm of the sofa.

"I'm kind of hungry," Bruce admitted. "I'm going to make breakfast, anyone want anything?"

"Oh, don't bother," Pepper insisted. "We shot up the kitchen. Tony's personal contractor will be in to take notes this afternoon."

"You have a personal contractor?" Bruce asked.

"Hi, Tony Stark, nice to meet you," Tony offered by way of reply, waving at Bruce over his shoulder.

"Happy's bringing doughnuts," Pepper added.

"Shouldn't he have been here by now?" Jane asked curiously.

"He just rang in," Clint said, not looking up from his phone. "Hey, Tony looks good in this one."

"If he eats all the Jelly again, he's fired," Tony observed. He let out a cheer, pointing at the TV and high-fiveing Thor as Jane and Phil chuckled.

"Five young men were arrested for indecent exposure in Central Park Saturday morning," Steve stated with a frown.

"You don't say," Betty answered, her eyes sparkling.

"What is this world coming to?" Jane added, Bruce caught the look the women shared and the suspiciously blank expression on Phil's face and smiled.

"Feeling better?" Betty asked softly, slipping her arms around his waist. Bruce sighed, leaning into the corner of the bar and pulling her closer, brushing a kiss on her lips.

"I've said it before," Bruce shook his head. "Chemical mixture that creates chaos." Betty hummed in agreement, snuggling into his chest.

"I like it," she admitted.

"Yeah," He nodded. "Me too."


End file.
